Niles Quote #2024
Quote from Niles in Murder Most Maris
Martin: Yeah, and the interesting thing happened when we were leaving. We ran into Maris's lawyer on the way out.
Niles: And he told us the whole story. Apparently, Maris and Esteban had a fight, and Maris kicked him out. She was trying to calm herself by practicing her tableau vivant pose with the, with the crossbow. Which, she needs all the practice she can get. She has terribly weak triceps. Well, all of a sudden Esteban burst back in through the balcony window. Maris was-was startled to death and pulled the trigger in self-defense. He was dead before he hit the parquet.
Features in the collection: The Maris Crane Files.
Frasier Quotes
‘The Maris Crane Files’
Quote from Frasier in The Good Son
Niles: Of course, I can't take care of him.
Frasier: Oh, yes, of course. Of course. Why?
Niles: Because Dad doesn't get along with Maris.
Frasier: Who does?
Niles: I thought you liked my Maris.
Frasier: I do. I like her from a distance. You know, the way you like the sun. Maris is like the sun, except without the warmth.
Quote from Niles in The Seal Who Came to Dinner
Niles: Let's get some lights on. [claps]
Frasier: Good Lord, what the hell is that?
Niles: Maris had it made after she lost power in a storm. Battery operated, works on a clapper so you can find it in the dark. Only problem was, the poor thing, try as she might, could never clap hard enough to activate it.
‘Murder Most Maris’ Quotes
Quote from Frasier
Niles: Oh, well, I'm- I'm stunned of course. The idea that Maris actually killed someone.
Frasier: Well, we've all seen her murder many a lively dinner party.
Niles: Frasier!
Martin: That's terrible.
Frasier: Oh, come on, I'm joking. And haven't I earned the right to my gallows humor? After all, are you forgetting that just this afternoon I was punched in the face by a man now dead?
Quote from Frasier
Reporter: Is Niles Crane in here?
Frasier: He is not. I will be speaking on his behalf. Gentlemen, you may roll tape. [addressing the cameras] Good afternoon, Seattle, this is Dr. Frasier Crane, spokesman for the Crane family. Recent events involving my brother, Niles Crane and his ex-wife are tragic. Almost as tragic as the rampant media speculation concerning his involvement. If there is any justice in the world, Maris Crane and Niles Crane will soon be executed. Thank you. That is all I have to say.
Quote from Niles
Daphne: So where is she now?
Martin: They're holding her as a flight risk.
Niles: Can you imagine?
Martin: Well, it didn't help that when they found her, she had a passport, a wig, and $10,000 in her purse.
Niles: Maris always has those things in her purse.