Frasier: Well, you've got to admit, Niles, it doesn't look very good.
Niles: I can't believe she could have planned this. You do learn something about a woman when you've slept in a room next to hers for fifteen years.

Daphne: So, she just happened to be posing with a loaded crossbow at the exact moment he burst in on her?
Niles: And don't you just know the prosecutor is going to try to twist that into something sinister?

Daphne: Have you lost your bloody mind? I have tried to be patient, but this is too much. You promised me that woman would be out of our lives. Now she's calling every minute, the papers reporting as though you two are still married, and I can't even sleep in my own bed!
Niles: I know, darling, b-but you can't blame me for everything that's happened.
Daphne: The hell I can't! If you hadn't have snuck off to have lunch with her, we never would have been dragged into this, and you wouldn't be sleeping alone on the couch tonight! But you did, and we were, so you are! [passing Frasier] I hate that kind of cracker! [storms off]
Martin: Boy, that was kind of harsh.
Frasier: I'll say, these are imported from Belgium.

Roz: You've had it pretty rough.
Niles: What are my choices? I can go to pieces or I can bear up and live my normal life. Can I get a straw, please?
Waitress: Oh, sorry, sir, that was the last one.
Niles: I see. The last straw. Gosh, is it warm in here? [Niles starts to loosen his tie] It is. It is. It's warm in here. Oh, it's suffocating. [He removes his tie.] There, that's better.
Roz: I'll get you a straw, Niles. Do you need a straw?
Niles: Oh, no, no, you heard her. There are no more straws. [Niles removes his jacket] Oh, that feels so much better! [Untucks his shirt] Oh, everything was just so tight before. [Unbuttons his shirt] Ahh, yes! Oh, coffee shop without straws? [giggles maniacally] It makes no sense! [Removes his shirt and then his shoes]
Roz: You can borrow my straw, see?
Niles: [Niles loosens his belt and unbuttons his pants] Oh, this is great. I was being smothered. Oh, I can breathe. I don't know how you stand it! [Niles hops away as he takes off his pants]

Roz: Hello, Frasier, it's me. How close are you to the cafe? All right, well hurry up and park because Niles is almost completely... [looks over at Niles, who is reading a newspaper in the nude] Niles is completely naked!

Frasier: [entering] Hello, Niles.
Niles: [still reading the paper] Hey.
Frasier: What's going on?
Niles: Heat wave in Texas.
Frasier: Well, uh, Niles, maybe you should put some clothes on.
Niles: Ah... Nah. No, too much. Too much on me. I'm feeling very constricted. [Frasier gently reaches out] I'm fine now. Don't touch me.
Frasier: Niles, look at yourself.
Niles: [looks down] Hello! [chuckles] I think I'm having that dream where I'm naked in Nervosa!
Frasier: I think a lot of people are having that dream. We have to go now, Niles. But you're not getting in my car like that.

Frasier: Wow, Roz, that was persuasive.
Roz: Yeah, well, there's nothing worse than waking up naked with a bunch of cops standing around. I bet.

Daphne: You kept him waiting while I was at home worried sick?
Martin: I was doing him a favor. I was keeping him away from you and your hormones.
Daphne: Oh, some favor. Making me stay with Frasier. He made me do housework. I'd forgotten that until this moment.
Niles: You made her do housework!
Frasier: I did no such thing.
Martin: A pregnant woman? That's pretty low!
Frasier: Oh, fine! Fine! Turn your anger on me. It's almost as if you'd forgotten that not three days ago, I was punched in the face by a man now dead. [They all bow their heads] Thank you. ... Now who wants pancakes?

Frasier: What have you heard?
Niles: Not much. The TV news is still pretty sketchy. Dad, did you find anything out?
Martin: Well, I called some buddies at the station. They'll call back when they know something.
Daphne: It's just so freaky! I can't believe that man is dead. He was standing right where you are just a few hours ago.
Martin: How are you holding up, son?
Frasier: As well as can be expected.
Martin: I meant your brother.

[As the phone rings:]
Frasier: You know, that's going to go on all night. Do you want to just stay at my place?
Daphne: Oh, thanks, but if I have them drive me out of me own home, then they've won.
Frasier: Allow me. [Answering the phone] Hello? Yes, I'll tell her. [hangs up] That was your mother. She heard the news, she's on her way over.
Daphne: I'll pack a bag, you get the car.