Randy: Look fellas, maybe that's enough for one night. But, uh, why don't you come in a little early next week and I'll try to get you caught up to everyone else. I've got a feeling you guys are gonna be my special project.
Niles: Did you hear that, Frasier? We have to come in for tutoring. We've become remedial students.
Frasier: I know. It's humiliating.
Niles: I thought we signed up for this class to avoid humiliation.

Frasier: Well, I guess we're just gonna have to roll up our shirtsleeves and see it through for the next eight weeks.
Niles: Of course, we will.
Frasier: Although...
Niles: I'm listening.
Frasier: What do we actually accomplish by learning to change our own spark plugs? Oh, yes, of course we acquire a new skill, but aren't we taking a job away from a qualified mechanic?
Niles: Someone who may have a family to support. Not to mention all the merchants who depend on his disposable income for their livelihood.
Frasier: Yes, yes. The human toll begins to mount.
Niles: Society decays.
Frasier: Not if I have anything to say about it, Niles. I'm quitting. If you care one jot about civilization, you'll quit too.
Niles: Our duty is clear. Do we have time for gelatos?
Frasier: I think so, yes.

Martin: Hey, Mr. Goodwrench. Recognize this?
Frasier: No.
Martin: Well, it's your grandpa's old toolbox. He gave it to me when I was eighteen. I think you're ready for it now.

Martin: I know it sounds kind of corny, but it meant a lot to me when my father gave that to me. Every time I use it I'd think of him. And maybe every time you use it in class, you'll think of your old man and how proud he is.
Frasier: Gosh, Dad, I don't know what to say.
Martin: Maybe someday you'll pass it on to your son.
Frasier: But first maybe I'll remove the topless playing cards.
Martin: Your grandpa loved the nudies.

Roz: Hey, Martin- [sees the puppy] What the hell is going on?
Martin: Well, you were late, so I brought Frankie here.
Roz: His name is Ariel, and I was fifteen minutes late.
Martin: Well, that's almost two hours in doggy minutes.

Randy: Uh, the brake pedal feels a little mushy. What is the possible cause? Uh, let's get someone new this time. [a sea of hands go up] How about Frasier?
[Frasier and Niles are sitting at the back of the class doodling on their textbooks]
Frasier: ... What?
Randy: What would cause a mushy feeling in the brakes?
Frasier: ... I don't know.
Randy: Niles?
Niles: Uh, mush?

Shirley: It's caused by a leak in the brake line.
Randy: Good, Shirley, did everybody hear that?
Frasier: [to Niles] Her voice was kind of muffled. What with her lips being pressed up against Randy's butt.
Niles: Yeah! [laughs]

Frasier: Please, please don't throw us out.
Niles: We'll shut up, we promise.
Randy: You've promised that four times tonight. Sorry, you're gone.
Frasier: But what are we gonna tell our dad?
Niles: And my girlfriend?
Randy: Maybe you should have thought of that before you started goofing off.
Niles: Okay. So, uh, how's this work, Randy? You mail us our certificates of completion, or what?
Randy: Yeah. Um, let me go get a pen and paper for your addresses.
Frasier: All-righty.
[After Randy steps back into the classroom, Niles turns the handle on the door. It's locked.]
Niles: I'm starting to think he's not coming back.

Niles: Not only did we stink at Auto class, we stunk at coasting through Auto class.
Frasier: We became back-row hooligans, Niles. The very students we hated back in school.
Niles: I always thought they were just mean. Now I realize they were simply acting out of frustration.
Frasier: So when Billy Kreizel tried to stuff you into your locker after math class, he wasn't really mad at you. He was mad at Pythagoras.
Niles: Which is ironic, because a simple volume equation would have shown him I couldn't fit.

Frasier: Oh, dear. The car seems to have stalled.
Niles: Oh, great, now what?
Frasier: All right, let's not panic. Chelsea, if you would, please, open the glove compartment. You will find a flashlight and a small toolkit. Reach behind them, and hand me my cell phone. I'm going to call the auto club.
Niles: By the time they get here, we'll miss the opera.
Chelsea: You know, my ex-boyfriend used to restore Corvettes. Maybe I can poke around and take a look.
Daphne: I suppose I could give you a hand. You don't grow up with eight brothers and not learn a thing or two about engines. Or the importance of being first in the shower.