Niles: People in their twenties are always like that. The world is so daunting at that age. They comfort themselves with the idea that everything's just trash. We were like that in medical school. Acting as if we were above it all, smarter than everybody. It passes.

Frasier: No, no.
Niles: Well, there's room at Roz's table.
Frasier: No. I find her cousin Jen just a bit judgmental for my taste. Yesterday she told me my show was bourgeois. I pointed out that anything that had mass appeal could be called bourgeois. She then said that my argument was bourgeois. Which I found to be jejune.

Roz: Frasier, this is my cousin Jen. She's visiting this week, remember?
Frasier: Oh, yes, of course. So how are you enjoying Seattle?
Jen: Well, I've been living in London, so Seattle seems a little lame. No offense.
Frasier: Oh, none taken. So you like London?
Jen: Not really. It's like a parody of itself.
Frasier: How so?
Jen: Oh, you know, double decker buses, bobbies, little pubs. It's like EPCOT but even fakier. So I bailed. Went and spent some time in Florence.
Frasier: Ah, Firenze. How is she?
Jen: I gotta say, Florence is over. It was probably cool, before all the Americans found out about it.
Frasier: You mean three hundred years ago?
Jen: Exactly. That's why I'm going to Vietnam. Americans have never even heard of it.
Frasier: Ah. Well, you know, I'm afraid I have to bail on this conversation. I have a show to prepare for.

Jen: This is our first time going out since I was a kid. When she used to baby-sit me, she was always dragging me on some wild adventure. Like that time we changed the sign from "SCHOOL ASSEMBLY" to "COOL ASS"?
Roz: Oh, my God.
Frasier: Charming.
Jen: No, you don't understand. The town we grew up in, was totally boring. It was like Kill Yourself, USA, right? Roz was the only person who did anything fun.
Frasier: Is that so?
Jen: Yeah. My mom calls me "Roz Junior," which is what passes for wit where we come from.
Roz: And, our town has the world's...
Both: Fourth largest thermometer.
Frasier: Yes, well, I can see why London really let you down.

Frasier: So that's why you haven't unpacked. You know, all this time, I've been using you on my radio show as an example of procrastination. I had no idea you were just living in fear.
Kenny: I prefer to see it as a healthy superstition.
Frasier: Kenny, there's no such thing as a healthy superstition.
Kenny: Oh, yeah? What do you call washing your hands after you go to the bathroom?

Frasier: All right, what's it gonna take for you to start doing your share of the work around here?
Martin: Trade me floors for garbage.
Frasier: You'll really take care of all the floors if I handle the garbage?
Martin: That's right. [doorbell rings]
Frasier: Okay. Okay, you got a deal, Mister.
Frasier: [opening the door] Hi, Daph.
Daphne: Hello. Why's all your garbage stacked up in the hallway?
Martin: That's right. Why is that, Frasier?
Frasier: Your game is deep.

Frasier: You see what I mean about her.
Niles: She's struggling through a typical phase of development. Stop being so sensitive.
Jen: [returning] Sorry about that.
Niles: Not at all.
Jen: So, tell me about you guys. Roz says you're super competitive with each other. Did your parents withhold affection or is just the penis thing?
Niles: [to waiter] Uh, I'll take mine to go.

Frasier: Say there, Jen, did you have a chance to explore that art gallery I suggested?
Jen: Yeah. I know you're into that stuff so I don't want to put it down. But it was like everything in there was trying to make us feel better about our corrupt, imperialistic, phallocratic heritage.
Frasier: They're landscapes.

Jen: But I picked up something for you on the way over here.
Frasier: Oh, really?
Jen: Mm-hm.
Frasier: Well... A bust of Freud. Well, that's really quite thoughtful of you.
Jen: I figured you'd appreciate the irony. Since he's been proven wrong about practically everything.
Frasier: I like to think that Freud's theories will withstand the test of time.
Jen: Really? Have you read either of his books?
Frasier: Excuse me, young lady...
Jen: Uh-oh, here comes the lecture.
Frasier: Yes, for once you are right, for a disquisition is indeed at hand. And may I suggest you roll your eyes back into the forward position, as I may actually employ some visual aids. Now, our story begins with a young Greek woman of the name Clytemnestra...

Jen: I heard AM radio is dead.
Kenny: Yeah, it is.