‘Kissing Cousin’
Season 10, Episode 4 - Aired October 15, 2002
Roz tries to relive her younger days when her twenty-something cousin, who is cynical and disparaging about everything, visits Seattle.
Quote from Daphne
Niles: What's going on?
Frasier: Uh-oh.
Martin: Steady...
Daphne: Your father and brother needed a little help. The oven's all clean. I just have a bit of ironing left, I won't be a minute. And don't forget, I've drawn baths for both of you.
Quote from Niles
[Martin puts his empty popcorn bowl onto the floor]
Niles: What are you doing?
Martin: What?
Niles: Are you going to leave that there?
Martin: I'll clean it later.
Niles: Well, that's the whole problem. If you would just clean as you go, things wouldn't pile up, you wouldn't need Daphne's help.
Martin: I guess.
Niles: No, it's true, look at this. Look how easy. See? Small, consistent efforts, that's what it takes. Just like managing one's cuticles.
Quote from Martin
Niles: [o.s.] You know, there's a bowl of potato salad laying out, completely uncovered.
Martin: It's getting tangy.
Niles: The plastic wrap is right here.
Frasier: We really should help him.
Martin: Are you nuts? He's about to make us dinner.
Frasier: He is not.
Martin: Twenty bucks says he is.
Frasier: Forget money. Let's wager something real.
Martin: All right, if I get him to make dinner, you do all the chores. If I don't, I'll do 'em.
Quote from Martin
Daphne: I'm ready, Niles.
Niles: Excellent, because tonight I am taking you to the finest bistro in the Pacific Northwest.
Frasier: You're on!
Martin: Take your sweet time, why don't you? [to Niles and Daphne] Hey, guys, are you sure you don't want to stick around? I was just going to open a can of spaghetti.
Niles: But, you have sea bass in the fridge.
Martin: Oh, it'll probably last another day.
Niles: Oh, I think you should cook it tonight.
Martin: Fine. I'll nuke it with some ketchup.
Niles: That's ridiculous. You can't use your turkey recipe on fish.
Quote from Martin
Martin: Well, what am I supposed to do?
Niles: Well, just take one clove of garlic, two tablespoons of finely minced fresh ginger... [Martin looks confused] Oh, for heaven's sake, I'll do it myself.
Daphne: I suppose I'll lay the table.
Martin: No, no Daphne. You've done enough for today. That's Frasier's job.
Quote from Kenny
Kenny: Good news. I just got off the phone with my travel agent. She got me this great fare to Ho Chi Minh City and she said it'd be no problem to get you on the same flight. This is gonna be awesome. I've never seen Asia before. I've seen the band, of course, but not, you know...
Quote from Frasier
Roz: I'm sorry, Frasier. I guess I shouldn't have unloaded on that guy. I've just been thinking a lot about age lately.
Frasier: That's all right, Roz. I thought your speech was courageous. And who knows? Even if it went right past Stu, maybe it reached somebody else out there on the Frasier Crane Radio Network.