Niles: Ooh. New cufflinks, those are very smart.
Frasier: Oh yeah, you've seen these before, haven't you? I always wear them with the tux.
Niles: Of course you do. Well still, nothing catches the eye like a sharp pair of cufflinks. [Niles raises his hand to scratch the back of his head]
Frasier: And those are very nice too.
Niles: Oh, these...
Frasier: Gold?
Niles: Yes, well I knew you'd be wearing silver. I didn't want us to look alike, you know.

Daphne: I don't want him to think I've abandoned him. Would you mind taking over? Tell him I miss him, too.
Niles: All right. [he types]
Daphne: I'm counting the days until he comes home and there's no-one I love more than my fuzzy wuzzy...
Computer: Good-bye.
Niles: I'm sorry, I seem to have lost him.

Daphne: Have a good time. Don't spend too much.
Martin: Oh, don't worry about that. I've got a whole system worked out where I can get everything I want for the minimum bid.
Frasier: Dad, that's hardly in spirit with the evening. We're raising money for the Kelly Ann Grunther fund.
Martin: Oh, baloney. You just want to go there so you can hob-nob with all your snooty friends.
Frasier: Oh, that is not true.
Martin: Oh, yeah? Well, then answer me one question. Just who is Kelly Ann Grunther?
Frasier: Kelly Ann Grunther... is... the person responsible for the Kelly Ann Grunther foundation.

Roz: Listen, Jody, can I talk to you?
Jody: I'd love to bid more but I'm really at my limit.
Roz: I really want you to win this. I think we hit it off.
Jody: Oh, you too, huh? I thought I sensed a little spark between us, Roz.
Roz: A spark?
Jody: Maybe after the show we could get a drink or have some dinner?
Roz: Ah... [Roz sees Noel combing his hair] You like Italian?

Niles: I think it's time to separate the men from the boys. You will never top this bid.
Frasier: You're right, Niles. I won't top it. I will double it.
Niles: Then I'd like to see the look on your face when I double your bid.
Frasier: What? You didn't double it, you just added fifty dollars to it.

Daphne: Have a good time at the auction?
Martin: Oh, yeah. I got a great new barbecue: the Windsor Monarch 2000. I wonder if they name it that because that's the one the Royal family uses.
Daphne: Oh, I'm sure it is. That's actually the new postage stamp in England. Her Majesty with a pair of barbecue tongs and a sauce brush.

Frasier: Yes, well at least Dad didn't have to go into debt for his purchase.
Daphne: Oh, yes, Roz told me about your lunch with the geniuses.
Frasier: What, Roz beat us back here?
Daphne: Yes, she was trying to ditch Noel. Apparently he's not allowed onto the highway with his moped.

Martin: I remember going through that box with your mother. She always knew just what to say to cheer me up. "So what if the trophy says baking instead of baseball, Marty? Catchers' mitts or oven mitts, they're our little champions."

Niles: Well here they are. Congratulations, Frasier. 129.
Martin: Is that good?
Niles: Oh, good? It's practically genius. Bravo, Frasier.
Frasier: That's enough, Niles. Now where are you? Higher or lower?
Niles: I haven't seen mine yet. I am... higher.
Frasier: Well, congratulations. I doff my hat to you, Mr. 131.
Niles: Higher.
Frasier: What do you mean, higher? Mom told us we were two points apart.
Niles: Well, apparently Mom was being tactful.
Frasier: How tactful?
Niles: Well...
Frasier: Gimme that!
Frasier: 156. My God, that's...
Niles: Twenty-seven points.
Frasier: Yes, I know.

Frasier: The entire point of this exercise was to prove that Niles and I have moved beyond our competitiveness. And we have. I'm very proud of my kid brother.
Niles: Thank you. And I am proud of how mature you are being about all this. In fact, if it were a test for maturity I think your score would be much...
Frasier: Niles, that's enough.