Daphne: You know, it's funny how much Eddie misses that bird of Dr. Crane's. This morning a pigeon landed on the terrace, Eddie jumped up excited, ran over and started barking at it.
Frasier: Yes he does that all the time.
Daphne: No, no, this was a different sort of bark, like: "You're not my bird. Don't fly over here and get me hopes up like that. You're not my bird." It was silly and sad at the same time, you know?
Frasier: Firsthand.

Frasier: Once he's decorated it, it'll be much nicer. You're right, you're right. I'm being much too hard on myself. I'm sure he'll be perfectly happy in the Shangri-La.
Martin: You got him in the Shangri-La? That's where Duke stayed during his divorce. Oh, let me tell ya, that's my kinda place.
Frasier: What have I done?

Niles: Oh, you should stay, the guys in D building are bringing over a six-foot sub and they've rigged the pinball
machine so it's free play all night.
Frasier: Niles, you know I'm finding it a bit difficult to accept this newfound enthusiasm of yours.
Niles: Well, weren't you the one who told me that I should adjust to my new circumstances?
Frasier: Yes. I'm just concerned that you're immersing yourself in this lifestyle just to avoiding feeling the pain you're going...
Martin: Oh, would you just leave the guy alone. He's obviously having a good time.
Frasier: A good time?
Martin: Yeah. And why shouldn't he have a good time? I'd be happy here myself. This is my kind of place.
Niles: Get me out of this hell hole!

Martin: What did I say?
Niles: Oh, I can't live this charade. I have tried, it's taking too much out of me.
Martin: Now, Niles, this place is fine, and you know what they say: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
Niles: But Dad, not everyone makes it into that second group. And I've got the luau shirt to prove it.

Frasier: Oh, my God, he's running away.
Martin: Well, catch him, Mr. 12-cylinder German engineering.

Niles: Hello?
Frasier: Niles, what the hell are you doing?
Niles: Well, I'm just pulling into my parking garage. You on your way?
Frasier: What are you talking about? You're driving up 2nd Avenue.
Martin: You're in that little red thing.
Niles: No I'm not, you must be mistaking me for someone else. See you when you get here.

Niles: Hello?
Frasier: Niles, what are you running away from us for? I can see that it's you.
Niles: No, you're mistaking me for someone else.
Frasier: That is ridiculous, I can hear my own horn through the phone.
Niles: Frasier, I may lose the connection, I'm just stepping onto my elevator. I'll see you when you-

Martin: Let me get you some aspirin.
Niles: Oh, thank you, Dad. Uh, check upstairs in the bathroom off the study. Pardon the disarray, Frasier, I've had to cut the cleaning lady down to two times a week.
Martin: Yeah, looks like a bomb went off.

[Fed up of Niles breathing exercises, Frasier tries to flick the lights on. They briefly go on before the room falls into darkness.]
Frasier: What the hell happened?
Niles: Isn't it obvious? You blew a fuse.
Frasier: You haven't seen anything yet!
Niles: Ow!

Frasier: Niles, we can't leave without seeing the apartment. Frank was kind enough to put on pants to bring us up here.