Frank: I think you'll see why the Shangri-La is so popular with bachelors like yourself.
Niles: I had assumed it was that charming "No Credit, No Problem" banner out front.
Frank: Here's your kitchen. All modern. Looks like the previous tenant left a four-slot toaster behind.
Frasier: Isn't that something, Niles? You can make yourself a club sandwich and still have a slice left over for guests.

Niles: Now can we go?
Frasier: No, no, Niles. Not before we have a look at this very charming little ironing board here.
Niles: You're sure that's not the guest room?

Martin: Hey, Niles.
Niles: Dad. Frasier. Did you not get my message about the wine club?
Martin: Yeah, but we thought it'd be just fun to have a nice meal.
Niles: Well, actually, I'm just on my way out.
Frasier: Where to? Bali-ha'i?

Niles: No, no, no. They're having a ping pong tournament in the rumpus room and my neighbor, Jimbo, has invited me to be his partner, so let me just go and tell him I'll be a couple of minutes late. If you're thirsty, they sent up some wine coolers in my welcome basket.

Martin: And you were worried. He's making friends, taking part in activities.
Frasier: Dad, he's obviously covering. That shirt alone is a shriek for help.
Martin: Is it so hard for you to believe that he can actually be happy?
Frasier: In this place, yes.

Niles: Alright, that's it. Enough is enough.
Frasier: Niles, who are you calling?
Niles: I am calling Maris. I'm going to beg her to take me back.
Frasier: You don't want to do that.
Niles: Oh, yes, I do.
Frasier: Niles!
Niles: Life with Maris wasn't so bad. It was my fault, after all. I was too rigid. I was always making demands.
Frasier: No, Niles.
Niles: "Eat something. Unlock this door. Don't throw that."

Martin: Niles, give me that phone.
Niles: No.
Martin: You don't know what you're doing.
Niles: Yes, I do.
Martin: Just drop it and kick it over here.
Niles: I won't. I'm dialing. I'm pressing send. It's ringing. [on the phone] Maris. I'm calling... I'm calling... I'm calling to tell you that there's a new address for forwarding my mail. It's 62 Elm Street, Shangri-La Apartments. Thank you.

Frasier: Well, good for you, Niles.
Niles: Oh, the second I heard her voice I knew I couldn't go back. But how am I ever going to live here?
Martin: Now, it's just temporary, Niles. She can't drag this divorce out forever.
Frasier: You know, Niles, perhaps this place is the price you'll have to pay for your freedom.
Niles: ... Well, it's worth that.
Martin: Good, that's the way to look at it. So let's have a toast to that.
Niles: Thank you, Dad. You know, I never did sign my lease. I suppose now is as good as time as any.
Frasier: Niles, perhaps this will make it easier. [handing him the Noel Coward antique pen] A little housewarming gift.
Niles: Thank you.

Frasier: You know, Niles, you may have to sleep here but you certainly don't have to eat here. How does Cigaré Volant sound?
Niles: Oh, music to my ears.
Martin: I can't go in that place without a jacket.
Frasier: Well, you know what? Maybe we should poke through that closet, I bet Gary's got a jacket that'll match those pants.