Frasier: You know, it suddenly occurred to me when I was talking to Daphne that I never really got the wedding of my dreams either. Oh sure, you know, my first one was a little clandestine affair. We dashed off to City
Hall. I could have hardly imagined a wedding more lacking in ceremony. Until my second wedding, which was lacking a bride. Then came Lilith. If I knew then what I know now, I would have walked down the aisle with the ice sculpture and had her stand by the buffet table to keep the shrimp cold.

Niles: All right, what is it?
Frasier: Niles, it's about Sabrina. She's a prostitute.
Niles: Frasier, I don't like lawyers anymore than you do. But frankly a man whose face is plastered on every bus in town should be careful what terms he bandies about.

Reverend Franklin: Surely you can stay a little while? I haven't seen Niles in ages. You know, I used to teach him in Sunday school.
Martin: Oh, you know Reverend, I can still remember dropping him off for his first class. It seems like only yesterday.
[Harp music, of the kind used to indicate a flashback on a TV show, is heard. Everyone looks around, until Frasier remembers the harpist warming up for her audition]

Frasier: That's awfully cynical.
Roz: Oh, yeah? When was the last time you found yourself staring at the bridesmaid instead of the bride?
Frasier: That would have been at my wedding to Lilith.

Martin: Oh, so you've had a few bad weddings.
Frasier: I guess I was just taking my last best shot at the wedding I shall never have for myself.
Martin: Oh, come on.
Frasier: Oh, let's face it, Dad, I'm no spring chicken. Do you really see me getting married again?
Martin: Well, I guess I've had my doubts, but right here, right now. I think, yeah, you're going to meet someone.
Frasier: Do you really think so?
Martin: Yes I do and I'll tell you why. If Niles can meet a great gal like Sabrina, then there's hope for all of us.

Roz: Oh, hey, Frasier. Catalogs?
Frasier: Yes. I'm trying to find the perfect wedding gift for Daphne and Donny.
Roz: Oh, right. Well, I guess now that they've set a date, I'll be getting my bridesmaid draft notice.
Frasier: You know, Roz, she might not even ask you.
Roz: Oh, she'll ask me. They all do. The next thing I know, I'm wearing some revolting puffy-sleeved dress made
from the same material that keeps the space shuttle from burning up on re-entry.
Frasier: You know, Roz, Daphne might just surprise you and pick a dress you like.
Roz: Oh, impossible. They're always ugly. That's why the bride makes sure she's the prettiest one at the wedding.

Niles: Frasier, do you remember the time the Kriezel brothers tied me to their Great Dane and lobbed meatballs down their gravel driveway?
Frasier: I've told you Niles, I would have helped you, but their sister was holding me down.
Niles: No, my point is - [to waitress] Cappuccino, please. [to Frasier] - Even that experience was less painful than the date I was just on. She was... [removes a hair from his jacket] ...a cat person. She brought her cat on our date. Well, she had good reason, it was Mr. Waggles's birthday. Actually, his birthday party. Actually, his surprise birthday party.
Frasier: Oh. Oh, Niles, I'm sorry. Where on earth did you meet this woman?
Niles: At Nordstroms. We both reached for the same cashmere throw. When she said she needed something to keep her waggles warm, I thought it was a coy euphemism.

Daphne: [on the phone] I know, Mum, but it is my wedding. I've given into you on so many things. Couldn't this one thing go my way? I just don't like those tiny corns in my salad. No, I don't hate you. Well, that's just not true. I'm glad you're alive. All right, all right, tiny corn it is. I've got to run now, cheery bye. [hangs up] That was Mum. She had a thought about the salad.
Frasier: Something tells me yesterday's crouton skirmish wasn't the end of it.
Daphne: I suppose she can be a bit overbearing. But as she often points out, she is paying for the wedding and I am her only daughter. And giving birth to me was so painful she did bite through a kitchen spoon.
Frasier: Daphne, just don't let you mother guilt you into having the wedding that she wants instead of the wedding you want.
Daphne: Oh, don't worry. Mum has already promised me I could have the wedding I want, as soon as I have a daughter who gets engaged.

Frasier: No, I just want to get her something special. Especially since her mother seems to be taking all the joy out of it for her.
Martin: Oh. Well, how about a nice piece of luggage? You know, a good hard suitcase, like the kind people used to put stickers on to show everybody where they've been. Remember your Grandad's? His whole life was on it: Topeka, Sioux Falls, Biloxi. It was like a map of the world.
Frasier: What a loss to us all that he failed to write his memoirs.

Frasier: I'm thinking of something that would matter to Daphne. [hiccup] Oh, something that shows her how we feel. [hiccup] Good Lord, that's a little spicy, isn't it? You know, maybe we should get something for her wedding.
Martin: Like what?
Frasier: Well, I don't know. Her flowers, say? That's it. We could offer to pay for her wedding flowers.
Martin: That's a bit pricey, isn't it?
Frasier: Well, don't worry about it, Dad. [hiccup] You just donate what you can and I'll pay for the rest. [hiccup] God, what was in that jerky?
Martin: Well, you just ate it too fast. Next time you have to savor it a little.
Frasier: Dad, I'm never going to taste that vile stuff again. [hiccup] Oh, spoke too soon.