Roz: [on air] Then, on Friday, it'll be fish sticks with tater tots and a fruit cup. That takes care of the St. Victoria's Elementary lunch schedule for the next month. We'll be back to tackle St. Victor's after this. [commercial break]
Kenny: [coming into the booth] Holy buckets, what are you doing? Take some calls.
Roz: I'm not a shrink. I can't tell people what to do.
Kenny: Yeah, that always stops you women.

Frasier: When the phone company says they will be at your door between the hours of nine and noon, they have entered into a verbal contract. If they show up at 12:47 they are in breach of said contract.
Niles: Again, I agree.
Frasier: Well, I just shouldn't have waited for them, that's all. Now my entire day is thrown off.

Frasier: Excuse me, we've changed our minds. We won't be parking.
George: Two dollars.
Frasier: No, you see, we just came in for a second and decided not to park. Just check the time on the ticket.
George: It's two dollars for any portion of twenty minutes. One second, ten minutes, whatever. Unless you go over, then it's two more dollars.
Frasier: Forgive me, perhaps I'm not being clear. You see, I mistakenly pulled in here, decided not to park, and now I'd like to just get out.
George: Two dollars.
Niles: Um, I have two dollars.
Frasier: Put that away.

Roz: [answering the phone] Roz Doyle. Frasier, where are you? What? [to Kenny] He's at some mall, he's still got ten minutes of parking left. [on the phone] You know, you don't have to use the full twenty minutes. [Roz pulls the phone away from her ear as Frasier begins to yell] [to Kenny] He knows that. [on the phone] What are you doing? What? You lost me after "Gandhi."

George: I don't blame you for bailing on that idiot.
Niles: He's not an idiot. He's just... passionate.
George: I think he's an idiot. [to Frasier] Suit yourself, idiot.
Niles: That idiot happens to be my brother.

Frasier: Don't these people realize I'm on their side?
Niles: I don't think they care, so long as you're in their lane.
Frasier: [out his window] I'm doing this for all of you. Don't you understand?
Man #2: No, no, come out here and explain it to us!
Niles: Don't even think about it, Frasier, that man wants to hit you.
Frasier: I'm not afraid. [closes window, locks doors]

George: Can you tow it?
Tow-truck Operator: Not with them in it.
Frasier: Well, that's just tough luck. Because we ain't budging.
Tow-truck Operator: You'll have to call the police.

Frasier: You know, we wouldn't be in this mess if it weren't for you and that ridiculous birdcage! [from Niles' look] Oh, come on, I can only change one character flaw at a time.

Kenny: I can't believe it. I mean, I always felt some chemistry between you and the doc, but... wowza. This can't hurt ratings.
Roz: Calm down, Kenny. It isn't true.
Kenny: [laughing] Yeah, right. Hey, you didn't do it here at the station, did you?
Roz: Of course not.
Kenny: Hey, as long as it wasn't on my couch, who gives?

Martin: I think there are some pieces missing from this one.
Daphne: You always say that. Keep looking.
Martin: Why do I even do this stupid thing? Some puzzle. There's a picture of what's it's going to look like right on the box.
Daphne: You always say that, too.