Niles: Well, I'll just go return my birdcage.
Frasier: Niles. You shut that door. You can't desert me in the middle of a fight.
Niles: I'm not deserting you.
Frasier: It would appear to others that you are, thereby weakening my position. Please, you must stay.
Man: What the hell is going on here?
Frasier: [rolls down his window] I'm glad you asked me that question. I am making a stand against this garage that holds me, my passenger, and my automobile hostage for a parking fee which I do not owe.
George: He don't want to pay two dollars.
Frasier: Look, I already told you, it's not about the money. In fact, to prove it's not about the money, I will donate two dollars to the charity of your choice.
Man: Only rich people have time for this kind of crap. Just pay the two bucks, Mr. BMW!
Frasier: My income, and the style of car which I drive, are irrelevant. Isn't that so, Niles?
Niles: Yes, I drive a Mercedes, and I would have paid ten minutes ago.

George: I told my boss I have a non-pay.
Frasier: Oh. You see, Niles, this happens so often they actually have a name for us.
Niles: More than one, I bet.

George: Just sign the form that says, "unable to pay," and send us a check.
Frasier: Well, I'm certainly not going to send you a check.
George: Look, most people don't. Just sign the form so I can get this gate open.
Niles: Oh, Frasier, it's an out. You should take it.
Frasier: Niles, I refuse to sign anything that says I am unable to pay. It's untrue.
George: Look, I really don't care, Jack. I just got to get this lane re-opened. Now it's either two dollars or the form, so I can put it in my drawer.
Frasier: You know my terms, you will receive your money when the twenty minutes is up.
George: Fine. Then I'll put in my own money.
Frasier: No, no, you can't do that.
George: It's too late. It's on me. Go ahead, Mr. Beemer!
Frasier: Don't you call me that. You put that down right now. We're not going anywhere!

[Frasier pokes his head out of his car's sun roof]
Frasier: People, please. I am not the enemy. I am your champion!
Man #2: Well, we got places to be, so move yo' ass!
Woman: Yeah, move it!
Frasier: But I'm doing this for all of us!
Woman #3: If you want to do something for me, get out of the way!
Woman #2: Yeah, save the protest for your own driveway!
Frasier: If you could only see things from my point of view, then I'm sure you'd agree with me. You see, I pulled into this garage, decided not to park, and now I want to leave, but they still insist on collecting two dollars! Is that fair? Has a service been provided?
Woman #3: Even if it's a rip-off, it's better than causing a big stink.
Frasier: Ah. But is it? I say no. I say we've been trod upon long enough by people who are supposed to be providing our services. By the postmen who mix up our deliveries. By the telephone repairmen who swear to be there between nine and noon, and yet arrive at 12:47, when you're wearing nothing but a towel and a head full of shampoo. Well, enough! I invoke my right to peaceful protest. Civil disobedience is a cornerstone of this country, for it is how the common man is heard!

Frasier: I think I made a mistake.
Niles: Maybe it's time to back down.
Frasier: I'm not sure that I can. I am right, after all. My principles are holding me captive.
Niles: Your principles may have started this, but it's your rigidity that's kept it going.
Frasier: My rigidity? The rigid ones are the ones who operate this garage, and enforce such inflexible policies.
Niles: You've been given more than one opportunity to leave without paying.
Frasier: Yes, but that's not the point. They have to know why I won't pay.
Niles: Which you could explain in a letter. But no, you won't be satisfied until everyone either agrees with you, or has suffered for failing to.

Frasier: Do you really think so?
Niles: I do.
Frasier: Well... that's quite an indictment. I never really thought of myself as uncompromising. Well, not in a bad way. I'm not sure I like this side of myself.
Niles: Well, you can still change course. If you can leave here without getting your full twenty minutes' worth, you'll be the bigger person for it.
Frasier: Yes, but then these taunting motorists won't know that I'm being the bigger person. They'll think they've gotten the better of me, or that I'm afraid to be arrested.
Niles: The bigger person doesn't worry about what other people think.
Frasier: Damn! I do want to be the bigger person. It's just so hard!

Niles: Frasier, you are not a prisoner of your character. You can decide right now that you're going to be the flexible one here. Pay the money, and go.
Frasier: I could break my pattern.
Niles: Yes.
Frasier: I could just pay the money, without proving to everyone that I'm right, without teaching them a lesson.
Niles: Exactly. You can do it.
Frasier: Sir? I'll have you know, I am leaving, with time to spare.
George: Congratulations.
Frasier: Since you cannot understand the moral code for which I stayed here, I am sure you must be perplexed that I am leaving before the twenty minutes is up. Suffice to say, I am the bigger man for it. And you, and your nefarious policy may now carry on, in what is highway robbery in the truest sense of the expression. Here is your ticket, and... your ill-gotten two dollars.
George: Four dollars.
Frasier: Four dollars?
George: You went over twenty minutes. It's two dollars for each portion of twenty minutes.
Frasier: But I already backed down!
George: Well, if you had spared me the speech, you would have made it out in time. Tough break, huh?
Frasier: Indeed. [rolls up his window] Hold on, Niles.
[Frasier floors it, smashing through the exit barrier as he drives off]

Niles: Still, I appreciate your taking the time to give me a lift.
Frasier: Yes, well, when you informed me you had to get to the promenade shops posthaste, I assumed it was an actual emergency, not to return a cage for some silly lovebirds.
Niles: It may not be on the order of a fallen pant cuff, but until I get home with something more secure, little Daphne and Niles are living under a colander.
Frasier: Dear God, don't tell me you actually named them after yourselves.
Niles: Big mistake, I admit. This morning when Daphne escaped, I just kept thinking, "What if she's hurt or lost or eaten by a cat? Or worse, what if she meets a bird who's more birdly than Niles but without the substance?"
Frasier: Trust me. No one is more birdly than Niles.

Kenny: Just rap about something, open up a discussion, you know? The station I.D.'s over, go.
Roz: Oh, okay. [back on the air] Hello again, everybody. Well, we're still waiting on Dr. Crane. So, until he gets here, let's hear what's on your minds. You know the number, give me a call. [presses button] Hello, caller. You're on the air.
Mark: "Hi, Roz. This is Mark from Bainbridge, and I made a big mistake."
Roz: Go on.
Mark: "I slept with my boss. Now things at work are super uncomfortable."
Roz: Well, Mark, I feel for you. I've been there myself. What you ought to do is just talk it out with your boss.
Mark: "You went through this, too?"
Roz: Yeah, and it was weird for a while, but now, things are just fine.

Roz: Who else out there needs my advice? Let me hear your calls. You're on the air. How can I solve your problem?
Sheila: "Actually, I was calling about something else, but when you say, 'now things are fine', it sounds like you still work with this person."
Roz: What? No, no. [laughs nervously] I worked with this person a long, long time ago.
Sheila: "Then why'd you say 'now'?"
Roz: Because... I don't speak so good?
Sheila: "And isn't Dr. Crane your boss?"
Roz: Well, no, I like to think of Frasier as a "colleague."
Sheila: "So now he's 'Frasier'?"
Roz: No. Yeah, I mean, it's just that I...
Sheila: "I think you did Frasier."