Dirk: So Niles, I suppose I'll see you at the benefit on Sunday. I know Maris is coming.
Niles: Yes, Sunday. Which benefit is Sunday? I have so many benefits on Sunday.
Dirk: The ho-down for the homeless. You were invited?
Niles: The ho-down? Yippee-yai-yes.

Niles: I'm going to check with the Post Office. You know, I heard a story on the news the other day about a man
who bought a piano at auction and when he went to tune it he found a 40-year-old unmailed letter under the sounding board.
Frasier: Perhaps we should contact Ferrante & Teicher, see if they have your invitation?
Niles: Poke fun now. We'll see who feels foolish this Sunday when I'm sipping champagne atop a mechanical bull.

Frasier: Daphne, I was just reviewing the minutes of our last meeting. There seems to be some confusion.

Frasier: Dad, are you planning on going around like that all weekend?
Martin: Yeah, why not? Daphne's off on her little trip. It's just us guys. Besides, I've been wearing pants round here for three years. Enough.

Martin: Now, listen. It's no big deal but I couldn't find the remote control for the TV last night. Now, I thought we agreed that its place was on that table next to my chair.
Frasier: Well, what was it like in the old days when you actually had to get up to change the channel?
Martin: It was hell.

[Niles arrives wearing a cowboy hat]
Frasier: Well, howdy partner.
Niles: Save your snippy remarks.
Frasier: Fair enough. Say, am I crazy or is there a bright golden haze on the meadow?

Frasier: And please, would you get Eddie off of the couch? Or else it's down through the garbage chute for the thrill ride of his life.