Martin: You know what a tortured little world you live in. Newspapers strewn all over the place. Sponge germs coming after you. It's a wonder you can sleep at night!
Frasier: Oh, my dreams get me by. Like the one where I strap you in your chair and run around the house turning on all the lights. Even in the rooms I'm nowhere near. Boy, that electric meter must really be spinning now!

Martin: Damn pants. You know, you spend fifteen dollars on a good pair of pants, you expect them to be shrink resistant.
Frasier: Well, Dad, when you pay that kind of money what you're really paying for is the designer name.

Niles: Look, isn't that Dirk and Gabby Bindercott?
Frasier: Friends of yours?
Niles: Mmm. Filthy rich. Timber money. In their case it really does grow on trees.

Frasier: Well, I just don't think a man should be uncomfortable in his own home. How am I supposed to relax when every giggle, every noise makes me, you know...?
Roz: Picture it?
Frasier: Of course not. Don't be ridiculous. The very idea.
Roz: You're picturing it right now, aren't you?
Frasier: Well, you made me.

Frasier: This is difficult for both of us, Daphne. I have to express my feelings and I also don't want to
lose you. You're very important to me and my father.
Daphne: That's why my solution is best. Well, I'll still be here during the day to take care of your father, but nights and weekends I'll just go home to me own place. On top of which, you can turn this room back into your beautiful study you used to have.
Frasier: Well, I suppose, what other choice do we have?
Daphne: Of course it'll be a period of adjustment for all of us. I know how much you two care about me and consider me part of the family but- You're picturing your study right now, aren't you?
Frasier: Well, you made me.

Martin: Hey, I'm making breakfast Burritos. You want one?
Frasier: I'll passo!

Martin: Whoa, there go my tater-tots. You want a pile?
Frasier: Not that I don't enjoy a "pile" of breakfast as much as the next guy, but I still think no.

Martin: You expecting someone?
Frasier: The contractor. I'm getting an estimate on restoring my study.
Martin: Why don't you use Joe?
Frasier: I think Joe's done enough work in that room, thank you.

Niles: Stop it. I'm in the middle of a social crisis. I just drove to the ho-down for the homeless, assuming that Maris had simply neglected to forward my invitation. Well, not only was I not on the guest list but Nelson, the parking attendant, said he missed me at "The Luau for Lupus." Now it's official. I'm a social outcast.

Frasier: Oh. Hello, Joe.
Joe: Hi Dr. Crane. I just came by to give Daphne a kiss. ... And drop off these shoes. Here.
Daphne: Oh, thank you.
Frasier: Well. Can anyone think of anything to make this moment a bit more awkward than it already is?
[Eddie runs in with Joe's underwear in his mouth. He drops them on the floor]
Frasier: Thank you, Eddie.