Frasier: Danielle, you're going to have to slow down a bit. I'm having a hard time understanding you.
Danielle: [Woman with a French accent] "I'm sorry, Dr. Crane. I'm having a big, big problem with my monthieur."
Frasier: Excuse me? With your what?
Danielle: "My monthieur."
Frasier: Your monthieur?
Danielle: "Oui, my monthieur, every day."
Frasier: Is that your mother?
Danielle: "No, my monthiuer."
Frasier: Your masseur, your Mercedes?
Danielle: "My monthieur! My monthieur! You must help me!"
Frasier: Well, Danielle, the best advice I can give you is to either confront your monthieur or work on your self-esteem. Thank you for your call. This is Dr. Frasier Crane saying, "Go out and have a good evening, Seattle, you deserve it." Roz, aren't you screening these calls?
Roz: Yeah, but when you only have one, you get less particular.

Frasier: Why are you only wearing one heel? You break it off?
Roz: No, I'm dating a sea captain with a peg leg and this makes it easier when we dance.

Frasier: So, who is this guy? Another trendy young kid who's got three earrings, a ponytail and is wearing a T-shirt under his sportcoat?
Roz: Is he here?

Frasier: You remember Roz?
Niles: Yes, of course. What brings you here?
Roz: Oh, nothing. I was just passing by and thought I'd stop in for a career.
Niles: Good luck.

Niles: Sorry, I'm late, Frasier, but the entrance to your parking garage is blocked by a cab driver with a ponytail scraping gum off his backseat.
Frasier: Madam, your chariot awaits.

Martin: Daphne, would you give me a minute alone with these two?
Daphne: Of course. I completely understand. [under her breath] That's right, send the help to her room. I never get to hear any of the good stuff anyway.

Frasier: How am I doing? How are you doing, Niles? Doesn't it bother you that your father cheated on my mother?

Niles: Frasier, your loyalties are seeping through, and I might point out that I got Mom's small features, while you got Dad's chunky thighs.

Niles: Good, you're here. I came by to see how you're doing, but I only have a few minutes. I start my "Healing with Humor" support group tonight, and I still have to pick up my big shoes.

Frasier: Niles has this theory that Dad had an illicit affair when we were youngsters.
Daphne: Your father? I can't believe that, he's not the type.
Frasier: Well, that's what I think. Besides Niles, there's not enough proof.
Niles: Well, are you saying it's not possible?
Frasier: Oh, anything is possible.
Daphne: Then why don't you just ask him?
Frasier: Right. "Good evening, father. By the way, did you boff one of the neighbors while we were roasting marshmallows?"