Frasier: What kind of a woman are you? You seduced me, you lied to me, you nearly got me killed. You've shamelessly manipulated not only me, but this station, the news media, and the entire city of Seattle. What do you have to say for yourself?
Bebe: Aren't you glad I'm on your side?
Frasier: Yes, I... suppose I am.

Bebe: Darling, this isn't about us. It's just a little bargaining tactic. I threaten to jump, you talk me down, major coverage. Bang! Your price goes up twenty percent. My life is meaningless! Talk to me, darling, talk to me.
Frasier: Are you out of your mind? Now listen, you're coming in. You're coming in right now!
Bebe: Get away from me! You can't talk me out of this! At least not until Channel Five gets here.
Now come on, dear, make like a therapist.
Frasier: God, you are out of your mind! You need help. You- You should be in therapy!
Bebe: That's good, but louder. Give me one reason to live! Just one! ...
Frasier: There are ... hundreds of reasons! Work, art, the people who care about you! [lowers voice] Now come in, you crazy bitch!

Niles: Disaster again. Maris's little wine club had an outing to the local vineyard. As the new president, she had the honor of being first into the stomping vat. You can imagine her humiliation when she danced herself into a barefoot fury and was unable to break even a single grape.

Bebe: Don't come any closer. I'll jump.
Frasier: Bebe, please.
Bebe: No, you can't help me! No one can help me!
Frasier: I'm not worth doing this over. Look, there'll be other men. It may take time, but you'll get over me.
Bebe: [normal voice] Well, somebody certainly thinks well of himself.

Bebe: Channel Five, come to Mama. Okay, dear. Full coverage. Now here's the plan: I swoon forward, you reach out and catch me.
Frasier: What?
Bebe: On three. One, two...
Frasier: No!
Bebe: Three! [After Frasier catches her] Film at eleven.

Frasier: Is this how you spend your days when I'm not at home?
Daphne: Not quite. When you're not home I can bloody well hear what they're saying.
Frasier: Oh, you wouldn't want to miss a line of this dialogue. "Oh, Zirconia, can't you see? Stone doesn't love you.
He loves Placenta!"

Daphne: Here we are. One cup of tea: half Darjeeling, half Chamomile, skim milk, a packet of sweetener. Oh, and I thought you might enjoy a nice fat-free tea biscuit. Will there be anything else?
Bebe: No. You run along, I'm fine.
Daphne: You're sure now? Because I could wait until you finish the biscuit and floss your teeth for you.
Bebe: You are a cheeky little monkey, aren't you? [Eating the cookie] This cookie tastes like meat!
Daphne: Yes, and it'll remove tartar, and give you a nice, shiny coat. [Daphne lobs one to Eddie]

Martin: My favorite are the villains. They have one guy on here who kicked his grandmother down the stairs, embezzled money from a children's hospital, and poisoned a puppy. [Frasier laughs] Give him credit, though, he did show up for work every day.

Bebe: Oh, my poor wounded baby. I just heard what those misers you work for are trying to do to you. Well, don't you worry, they're not going to get away with it!
Frasier: Well, you must have heard wrong, Bebe. They extended my contract for another year with an eight-percent raise.
Bebe: Eight percent? That would insult even a waiter! [to a passing waiter] Double cappuccino — move it!

Frasier: Listen Bebe, I realize that the station is making a handsome profit on my show, but what can I do? I do have a contract.
Bebe: No, darling, what you have is a ... fever.
Frasier: What?
Bebe: [Bebe puts her hand on Frasier's forehead] Ooh, you're like a furnace!
Frasier: Well, you know, I- I think I see where you're going with this, Bebe, and I'm not sure how I feel about it.
Bebe: Well, how do you feel about being one of the lowest paid personalities at the station?
Frasier: Who makes more?
Bebe: Who doesn't? Nanette from "Pet Chat". The Happy Chef. Oh, for heaven's sake, Father Mike could buy and sell you!
Frasier: Father Mike? He took a vow of poverty!
Bebe: Well, now he's taking a cruise.