Julia: So, uh, what was this message?
Frasier: Um, oh, I just said that I found you bright, and uh, beautiful and engaging, and then... there was a sonnet: "Fair love's ship ne'er sailed o'er unstorm'd seas. The fickle stars, her compass, bright and cruel..." It's pretty sappy stuff, huh?
Julia: No, it's sweet. Especially the end.
Frasier: So you did hear it?

Julia: You know, I just remembered where I may have lost my earring.
Frasier: Really, where?
Julia: In your bedroom. Do you care to help me look?
Frasier: In my bedroom? Well, we were never in my bedroom, I don't... Oh. I see.

[Frasier and Julia, clad only in bed sheets, walk into the living room, unaware that Niles is there.]
Frasier: [on the phone] I can't help it if I'm sick. What if I catch pneumonia?
Niles: If that's what you wear to the movies, it's your own damn fault.

Niles: You lied to me.
Frasier: Oh, I'm sorry. Would you have rather I told you that I was in flagrante delicto?

Frasier: How about some Mozart to make things festive, huh?
Julia: Well, I'm not sure I'd call that festive.
Frasier: Well, then you'd be wrong, as it is from the Salzburg Music Festival.
Julia: How about something a little more contemporary.
Frasier: Oh, all right. I believe I have Michael Nyman's The Contemporary Trumpet.
Julia: What are you, a hundred?
Frasier: All right, nothing then, my little wasp.

Frasier: She, uh, shoots from the hip, this one.
Niles: Yes.
Frasier: You should hear what she says about my show.
Julia: Oh, I just have to remind Mr. Pompous here that what we do on the radio is entertainment.

Niles: And before we begin, I would like to share some words of Robert Burns which have recently become quite meaningful to me: "Beneath the shelter of an aged tree..."
Julia: [cell phone ringing] Whoops, that's me. [answering] Hello? Hey, what's up? No, no, I can talk. Well, what kind of crap is that? Nail their asses to the wall! [covering the phone] Is that chicken?
Daphne: No, partridge.
Niles: Yes, in a champagne and orange sauce.
Julia: [on the phone] 'cause he's a pissy little bitch, that's why. [covering again] I'm sorry, I don't eat birds. They live in their own feces.
Martin: More for me!

Julia: Well, congratulations, Niles. Frasier didn't tell me that Daphne was pregnant.
Frasier: What?
Martin: She is?
Julia: Oh, no, don't tell me she's just paunchy.
Niles: She's not paunchy, she's pregnant.
Daphne: Niles!
[Niles squeezes the box of cereal, sending Lucky Charms flying into the air]
Daphne: How could you do that?
Julia: I'm sorry, it's my fault. I heard you in the kitchen. I didn't realize it was a big deal.

Julia: Hey, Marty, you're a Mariners fan. They won in the tenth on a grand slam.
Frasier: Who's ready to play that game of pictionary we talked about? I know I am.

Martin: Ready...set, go.
[Daphne draws a simple circle]
Niles: The Ring of the Nibelungen.
Daphne: Right!
Julia: Damn!
Frasier: Wow! Well, congratulations, you two.