Ray: Oh. I spoke to tech support. They said I should slam your head into it!

Marie: Never mind that, Robert! The point is that most of us think you should retire.
Debra: That's not true, Marie! I never said that-
Ray: Great. Now she's going off.
Debra: Ray, this is important!
Ray: It's not for us to decide. Robert's women got him screwed up enough.
Marie: Oh.
Amy: Excuse me? I'm not screwing him up.
Debra: This is part of being a family, Ray!
Ray: Oh my God! Robert, come with me. You idiot, come here.

Ray: Okay, look, you've got to make a decision, all right? 'Cause you've got everybody mad at everybody, and innocent bystanders are getting yelled at by their mean wife Debra.

Ray: Okay, so so if you can decide to become a cop, why can't you decide if you want to stay one, huh? God, it's your life, man. So come on. What do you deep down really want to do?
Robert: Okay. ... I want to dance.
Ray: What?
Robert: Dancing. I'm a good dancer.
Ray: No, Robert, you're not going to be a dancer.
Robert: You said deep down.
Ray: Okay, but you're in your 40s. It's time to go a little less deep.
Robert: Choreographer?

Ray: No, Robert! Come on! Stop trying to avoid making a decision! You want to be a cop or an alarm salesman?
Robert: I don't know. What do you think?
Ray: No! No! A cop or an alarm salesman?
Robert: Um...
Ray: Okay, look. Look, just finish this sentence: I'm a...
Robert: Cop.
Ray: Okay. Good. Now, why'd you say, "I'm a cop"?
Robert: Because you said, "I'm a" and not, "I'm an."

Ray: Okay. All right, but but you want to be a cop, right?
Robert: Well, it's obvious you want me to.
Ray: Will you- Look, just finish this sentence: My occupation...
Robert: Too late. I'm a cop.
Ray: Okay, but you decided it.
Robert: Yeah. I'm a cop.
Ray: Yes, you are.

Robert: Ma! Ma, I'm going to stay a cop. Raymond said I should.
Ray: [to Marie] Oh, all right, just take it easy. Listen, Ma. Just- I stopped him from being a dancer. Robert, trip the alarm!

Ray: Now, just- You've got to make a decision. You, now.
Robert: I can't do it myself, all right?! My whole life I've always let other people make the big decisions for me.
You know that little voice in your head? Well, mine just keeps going, "What are you asking me for?! What are you asking me for?!"
Ray: So- So your little voice is an effeminate mouse? All right, come on. Come on. You've- You've made decisions on your own, you have. Like, okay, nobody knew you were going to ask your first wife to marry you, right?
Robert: That's true. I decided all on my own to marry a woman who then dumped me for a guy I arrested. Yeah, you're right, I should trust my keen instinct.
Ray: Well, what about Amy?
Robert: Oh yeah, I love Amy, but I wouldn't have even had the guts to ask her to marry me if I didn't feel that pressure from everyone else. There's no way.

Ray: So wait a minute Dad didn't want you to be a cop either, right?
Robert: Are you kidding? He wanted me to work at the Carvel ice cream store so he could get free Fudgie the Whales.
Ray: So so you joined the force by yourself?
Robert: Yeah, I guess. I'd say that's a pretty big decision, wouldn't you, huh? I mean, just out of high school, Mom didn't want you to join, Dad didn't want you to join, I'm sure I was no help.
Robert: You just kept asking me if I'd be working undercover as the world's biggest transvestite.
Ray: I said that? That's funny.