Marie: Feeling better, honey?
Debra: Yeah, you know, I think that garlic actually helped. To tell you the truth, I thought that was an old wives' tale.
Frank: Look who you're talking to.

Marie: Michael's hot, too.
Debra: What?
Marie: That's what comes from vitamins shaped like cartoon characters.
Ray: Geoffrey's fine.
Marie: No, that's not how you do it. Let me see the baby. [kisses Geoffrey's forehead] Yeah. He's fine. Now, you have to take Michael and Ally to the doctor right now. And I'll stay here with Debra and Geoffrey.
Debra: No, no, no, no. Don't do that. I don't want you... getting sick.
Marie: I don't get sick, dear.
Ray: Mom's more of a carrier.

Marie: I don't understand how the children got so sick. I mean, you do put coats on them, don't you?
Debra: No, Marie, I send them out straight from the tub, buck-naked. Yes, of course they wear coats.
Marie: What coats?
Debra: The coats that you bought them.
Marie: I never see them wearing them. Now, I know you never liked those coats. But I don't think it's worth endangering your children's health just to send me a message.
Debra: They wear the coats. [coughs]
Marie: You know, they're very expensive coats.
Debra: They're good. They're good, warm coats.
Marie: You're just saying that to make me feel better. I bought bad coats.
Debra: No, they're- They're fine, Marie. I just need to rest now.
Marie: Now, here. Blow. You know, I bought those coats from Frank's friend, Leon. He said it was a deal. That crook. He sold me paper coats. If I can just make it to the phone. I should never listen to Frank. "Buy from Leon," he said. "Leon has quality merchandise." What he doesn't say is that Leon wants to kill my grandchildren.

Debra: Ally, the jumping is making Mommy sick.
Ray: Stop, Ally. That's enough. Here, look, read this. Wait a minute. That's Victoria's Secret. That's Daddy's. Here, read this. This is the thermometer?
Debra: Yeah.
Ray: All right. Should I set it to stun?
Debra: No. Here, give it to me.
Ray: Where do you put that?
Debra: You put it in your ear.
Ray: That would have been my third guess.

Debra: Honey, look, it's almost 103.
Ray: No! 103.
Debra: Yeah.
Ray: It's a scale. That's what your head weighs. It's not. Come on. Just laugh. A little laugh. Laughter is the best medicine. A priest and a rabbi are leg wrestling.
Debra: Face it, I'm sick, honey.
Ray: This is my one shot with Terry Bradshaw. Can't you walk it off?
Debra: Walk it off?
Ray: That's what my father always told me. That and, "Rub some dirt on it."

Marie: [enters] I'm here. Don't worry. Oh, God, look at you, Debra. Ugh.
Debra: Good morning, Marie.

Ray: I can't believe how long this is taking. I'm supposed to meet Terry Bradshaw right now. I can't believe this.
Woman: I was up all night cleaning vomit off an antique quilt.
Ray: Okay, it's a bad day for all of us. How old is he? Let me guess, 10 months.
Woman: Yeah.
Ray: He's got a nice-shaped head. Has he still got that soft spot?
Woman: Yeah.
Ray: Always check those when they're born. Make sure that spot goes in. You know, 'cause if it comes out that means they've been tampered with.

Terry Bradshaw: Ray Barone?
Ray: Hi, Terry. How are you?
Terry Bradshaw: This is where you want me to meet you?
Ray: Listen, I knew you had a plane to catch, and I really wanted us to get together. And then this thing came up. I thought this place is just as good as long as you don't put anything in your mouth.

Frank: Where's the ketchup in this house?
Debra: Oh, my God. What are you doing here?
Frank: Looking for ketchup.
Marie: That's what you're worried about? It's your fault that Debra and the kids are sick.
Frank: What?
Marie: Your friend Leon, with his cheap coats.
Frank: Those coats were very expensive.
Marie: He made everyone sick.
Debra: Please, my head.
Marie: And how about those $9 slacks?
Frank: You loved the color.
Marie: They ripped the first day.
Frank: I didn't read the thing. You're not supposed to sit in them. They're not sit-down slacks.

Debra: Please, you are actually killing me.
Marie: See what you're doing to her? Go, go, go, please. She needs her rest.
Frank: She should be up and moving around. She should walk it off.
Marie: You don't know what you're talking about. You and your cheap coats. I know what sick people need. They need rest and peace and quiet.
Debra: All right, I know where the ketchup is. Upper left, refrigerator door. Upper left.
Frank: That's all I needed to know. Feel better, sweetheart.