Chris: Oh, nothing, I've just been around, you know, at home listening to Prince, but...
Lisa: For real? I love Prince and anything to do with him.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] She went to see The Color Purple because she assumed it was about Prince.

Chris: Can I show you something?
Lisa: What?
Chris: Do you remember at the end of Purple Rain when Prince sprayed everybody with his guitar?
Lisa: Yeah, I'll never forget it.
Chris: Yeah, well, check this out.
Lisa: Oh, my God, is that...?
Chris: Yes, it's the hose he attached to the back of his guitar.
Lisa: Where did you get that?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I found it in the street, dummy.
Chris: I got a friend who lives in Minneapolis.
Lisa: Oh, my God, can I touch it?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I'm not even touching that.

Chris: Maybe. Look, what do you know about this spin the bottle party?
Lisa: [strangling Chris with the hose] Who told you?
Chris: Nobody.
Lisa: No, somebody. Who?
Chris: I won't tell you.
Lisa: Who?
Chris: No.
Lisa: Okay, my house, 8:00 tomorrow night. Don't tell anybody. Thanks.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Ever since that day, I've always loved hose.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] At school, Greg was putting his usual spin on things.
Greg: Dude, you're so in there.
Chris: Yeah, and Tasha's coming.
Greg: Don't get your hopes up. The statistical chances of you actually getting to kiss her when there's six other players at the party are about... six to one.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Better than my usual 348 million to one.
Chris: I'm not worried about that.
Greg: You shouldn't be worried about it.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] The hardest part about practicing kissing is trying to do it by yourself.
Chris: [kissing the bathroom mirror]
Tonya: Ugh! Boy, what is wrong with you?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Can't a boy kiss himself in the mirror in peace?

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Playing spin the bottle was one of the greatest moments of my teenage life. It was the best shortcut to kissing girls, outside of becoming famous.

Tasha: Chris, your turn.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Finally!
[When Chris spins the bottle, it lands on another guy]
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Hey, this ain't the Logo channel.
Lisa: Spin it again, Chris.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I needed the bottle to point to a girl so I could take my lips for a spin. [the bottle lands on Susan] It wasn't Tasha, but I could pretend. [Chris kisses Susan]
Tasha: Dag, Chris, that's enough. You act like it's your first kiss or something.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Wait till I tell Greg.
Susan: If you tell anybody, I will break your lips.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] In that case, wait till I write Greg a detailed letter.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] After my first kiss, the world seemed like a different place. A girl's lips had touched mine. It was great, and nothing was ever going to change that.
Dewayne: So you're Chris?
Chris: Yeah. Who are you?
Dewayne: Nobody. Just a dude who wanted to know who my girl was talking about.
Chris: What?
Dewayne: It's cool, man. I just want her to be happy. But I still love her though. But, you know, if you're the one she wants, then, you know, that-that-that's cool. That's cool. I'm gonna just deal with that.
Chris: Deal with that? Man, what are you talking about?
Dewayne: It's ai'ight, man. You won. You won. You know it, I know it, and Susan knows it. But check this out. If you mess up... I'll be there.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Hopefully not with one glove and a friend in a Bronco.
Dewayne: I'm gonna be there, Chris! I will be there!

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Brooklyn was the home of many modern trends, stalking was one of them. So was the sensitive thug. So was the restraining order. Years later, Dwayne would go on to be the first guy from Brooklyn to have a prison marriage with a girl he stalked, stabbed and restrained.

Susan: Hey, Chris.
Chris: Who is Dwayne and why is he following me around and standing outside my house?
Susan: Oh, he's my boyfriend. But he wasn't acting right, so I told him about our kiss.
Chris: I thought you said not to tell anybody.
Susan: You didn't, did you?
Chris: We're not talking about me. We're talking about you. And plus, you don't have somebody following you around in fatigues?
Susan: Hey, calm down, okay? He ain't gonna do nothing.
Chris: How do you know?
Susan: I'll talk to him.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Isn't that how all this got started?