Jenny: But before you don your glad rags and boogie on down, we'd like to let you in on our little secret. We're not actually going to have a school formal this year. [crowd gasps] No, listen, we're not gonna have a school formal. We're going to have...
Choir: [sing] Doo-bee doo-bee doo-bee doo-bee doo-bee doo-bee do-o-o.
Jenny: ...a fifties prom!
Michelle: Wise up!
Jenny: I know, I know. But I do love a theme. Sure, isn't that why people call me the Theme Queen?
Clare: Do they?
Michelle: Do they fuck.
Jenny: We want it to have a real old-school, retro, vintage vibe. So, feel free to just go for it!
Michelle: Feel free to kiss my hole.

Jenny: I'm Jenny. This is Aisling. We just thought we'd introduce ourselves and see if...
Clare: Too late, Jenny. She's ours.
Jenny: I see. Look, these girls are great but I do have a pen pal from the Caribbean, so perhaps my circle is a little bit more diverse?
Clare: Back. Off.
Jenny: Think it over. Give me a call. Oh, and FYI, the prom queen vote closes today.
Michelle: FY nobody gives a shit.
Aisling: Here's the wee ballot.
Erin: I see you've thrown your hat into the ring, Jenny.
Jenny: I had my arm twisted. But feel free to tick my box.
Michelle: Dirty bitch.

Jenny: Hiya-a-a! Sorry, girls, I can't stop.
Michelle: Nobody wants you to.
Jenny: Just grabbing a few bits for the prom, sure, you know how it is.
Mae: Oh, I was actually just about to try that one on.
Jenny: Well, I left it over, so...
Mae: It's just that red's my colour.
Jenny: Yeah, mine too.
Mae: No, you don't understand. I really, really suit it.
Jenny: Yeah, so do I.
Mae: Garnet's actually my birthstone.
Jenny: Well, ruby's mine, so...
Mae: I want that dress, Jenny.
Jenny: Well, you can't have it.
Mae: Bitch.

Clare: We just wanted to introduce ourselves and...
Mae: OK, I think I see where this is going. I get this a lot. Dull white girls wanting me to join their gang because... well...
Erin: We're not dull.
Mae: Sure.
James: And I'm actually a boy.
Mae: Whoa, she has a really fucked-up accent.
Michelle: We know.

Michelle: Well, this prom's going to be a full-blown dick fest. You know there isn't even going to be a DJ? Apparently Jenny's hired this fucking pensioner band.
Erin: Christ. Really?
Michelle: I heard the drummer is at least 30!

Clare: You're not going to the prom, then, James? Well, I was going to ask you to be my date.
James: I'm sorry, Clare.
Michelle: You were going to ask James to be your date? What the fuck's wrong with you?
Clare: Well, it's a bit more complicated for me.
Michelle: You're a lesbian, Clare, not desperate.

Clare: Now, I don't know who to ask.
Michelle: Tell me about it. There's at least five fellas that fancy the arse off me but I just can't choose.
Clare: Yeah, that's definitely the same.
Erin: I'll be your date, Clare.
Clare: But, Erin, people might talk, they might get the wrong idea.
Erin: Let them! We need to break down these ridiculous conventions.
Clare: Are you sure?
Erin: I'd be proud to have you on my arm.

Clare: It looks like they're breaking up!
Erin: Jesus, are they really? Are they breaking up? They are! They're breaking up. This is class.
Clare: What?
Erin: Later!
Clare: Erin? What are you doing?!
Michelle: She has no respect for herself. And coming from me...
Clare: That is bad.
Michelle: Exactly.

Erin: What you should do is take your mind off it.
John Paul: OK. Cool. Sweet. How?
Erin: Go out with me. I mean, go out with us. Me, uh, and my friends, we're going to this prom thing on Saturday night.
John Paul: A prom? Sounds sort of...
Erin: Shit?
John Paul: ...formal.
Erin: Oh, no, it's not. It's actually not at all. It's actually very informal. It's actually really, like, laid-back, chilled, "who gives an F" kind of thing. It's not a big deal. It's not a big deal at all.

Erin: This is a huge deal. This is a massive, massive deal. I'm going to the prom with John Paul O'Reilly, for God's sake. Oh, come on, Mammy.
Mary: I don't care if you're going to the prom with John Paul II, Erin. I'm not buying you another frock. End of story.
Erin: But, Mammy, you don't understand.
Mary: There's nothing wrong with your Easter dress.
Erin: There is lots of things wrong with my Easter dress.
Mary: I mean, it matches Orla's.
Erin: That being the main one.
Orla: Honestly, Erin, I think we'll look so cracker if we both rock in wearing these.
Erin: Right. Well, I don't.