Pete: Hey, where's your monkey?
Cliff: Oh, no, it's not my monkey. I just rented him to play a little, uh, joke on Normie. Good one, huh, Zippy?
Norm: Yeah, it gets funnier every time you mention it, Cliff. It was funny when you sent me over that crate of bananas, really funny when you started having my mail addressed to "Cheetah." [all laughing] Particularly hilarious when you sent over the organ grinder. You know, Cliff, you just keep getting funnier and funnier. You get any funnier, I may have to kill you.

Sam: That's it, call the cops.
Rebecca: What are they doing?
Sam: They're grabbing me, teasing me, making fun of me, and stuffing money down my shorts. Hey, small bills, too. That's great.
Women: [chanting off-screen] Fresh meat! Fresh meat!
Woman: [o.s.] Send in the young one!

Frasier: Say, is the, uh, book club still meeting? [Sam chuckles]
Rebecca: After a fashion.
Frasier: Oh, well, good. You know, I dropped by the office and dug up an old paper I wrote when I was an undergrad. I was always rather proud of it. So I thought I might share it with them.
Sam: Frase, I don't think you understand what's going on back there.
Frasier: Oh, Sam, you're hardly one to condescend to me. Oh, ladies! [women cheering] Good God! Please! I'm a doctor.

Frasier: $20, $40. Not bad for a night's work.
Sam: You got forty? I only got ten.
Frasier: Well, Sam, perhaps you didn't, uh, shake it until they couldn't take it. [laughs] Now, let me see. Where are my keys? Oh, that's right. I was using them as castanets.

Sam: You guys have been friends for years. Think of all the things you've done together. You, you... Drinking beer together. And I'm sure there's a lot of other stuff, too. Hey, you know, you're partly at fault here. You made fun of his profession, and you refused to pay him. And you, Norm... Actually, you didn't do anything at all, did you? I'll tell you what. Why don't you let me hold him, and you biff him one?

Sam: Oh, Woody, you telling me? That's it?!
Pete: Hey, you know, lots of people have white shirts.
Norm: And arms.
Tim: How do we know you were even on the show, Woody?
Woody: Of course I was. Oh, you got to believe me.
Norm: Oh, yeah, I bet that's you driving the little chuck wagon right now, huh?
Yah! Yah!
Woody: No, no, no. I swear. I met Robert Urich and everything.
Norm: Yeah, Wood, let us know when your pants are on Dallas.

Frasier: So, Sam, uh, anything interesting in the corporate newsletter there?
Sam: Oh, well, let's see here. Uh... yes. Did you know that the, uh, corporation that owns this bar purchases one percent of all the string made in America? [murmuring]
Norm: Whoo! My blood pressure, Sam, please.