Carla: How come you're not going on that fishing trip?
Coach: I don't like to smell them.
Carla: Yeah, fish stink.
Coach: No, the guys. Out in that sun all day, stuck in the muck. Who needs it?

Sam: Oh, come on. You're overreacting here, Diane. It's a harmless little prank, that's all. I mean, all guys fall for it. It's fun.
Diane: Did you ever fall for it?
Sam: Well, no, not personally. But I know a lot of my close friends have and, boy, did they have a terrific time.
Tim: You have to be a certain kind of guy.
Carla: Yeah, a real dink.
Sam: Thanks a lot, Carla.

Sam: No, you didn't disappoint us, Frasier. In fact, if there's one thing you didn't do, it was disappoint us. Um, see, I think it's time that we told you a little something here, Frasier. You see, the fellas and I-
Diane: Frasier, l hate to interrupt, but I really think you should go freshen up.
Frasier: Oh, you're right, Diane. I'm filthy. Oh. Oh. And I want to thank all of you for, well, caring enough to include me tonight.

Cliff: Uh, he's going to find out eventually, Diane.
Sam: Yeah, and we should be the ones to tell him because we did all the hard work.
Diane: He might not find out. Frasier isn't an outdoorsman. He doesn't hang around with people like that. If he should find out about it years later, he'll be able to laugh about it from a distance. Especially if some or all of you are dead. Now, that isn't asking much, is it?

Diane: There's one other thing I want you to know. Lord knows why, but Frasier thinks of you as a friend. As a matter of fact, he thinks of you as one of his closest friends.
Sam: Get out of here.
Diane: He does, Sam.
Sam: Jeez, what a boo... boo... bootiful guy he is.

Diane: Frasier, before you go, I need a moment alone with you.
Norm: Can't this wait till tomorrow, Diane?
Sam: Yeah, we're feeling the thrill of the hunt.
Cliff: Yeah, so does Frasier.
Diane: Frasier?
Frasier: Women. I guess she wants to kiss me or something. You have to indulge them, you know.

Sam: Oh, come on, look, Frasier's got a sense of humor. I bet he's up in the woods right now laughing himself silly.
Diane: I am sure that he is not. Like many who enter the psychiatric profession, Frasier is a sensitive and trusting man. You took advantage of his trust. He turned to you for a much-needed day of relaxation and instead you gave him this. A cruel, malicious, destructive, moronic prank.
Sam: A good-natured, fun, character-building, moronic prank.
Diane: If there's a shred of decency left among you, you'll go back and find him.
Sam: I'll go.
Diane: Thank you for that brief flash of humanity.
Sam: I can't believe this.