Norm: He's coming this way. Cliffie, cover for me.
Mr. Hecht: Wait a minute! Excuse me, wasn't that Norm Peterson?
Cliff: No, no, no. There's no Norm Peterson here. In fact, I don't even know a Norm Peterson.
Mr. Hecht: Are you sure? The man that just ran into the men's room with his jacket pulled over his head?
Cliff: Absolutely not. Ah, probably just somebody that looked like Norm Peterson... who I don't know.
Mr. Hecht: I see. Uh-huh. And what's this on the floor? Foam insulation from our heating duct. My information is correct.

Cliff: So, Mr. Lucky, who is your young friend over there?
Norm: Well, it's my first assignment, Cliffie. I was supposed to fire that guy first thing in the morning. I haven't been able to do it yet.
Sam: You've been with the guy all day and you haven't canned him?
Norm: He's such a sweet, young kid. I just can't tear his heart out.
Carla: Oh, can I do it, please?

Sam: Stand up here. Get him a beer there, Diane.
Carla: So how did it go, Norm? Damn company! [Norm sobs]
Sam: Carla.
Norm: That damn company. What do they know about the pride in a young wife's eye? The unborn child and a boy's love of a calculator?
Diane: Norman, stop torturing yourself.
Carla: And us.
Norm: I guess Billy Richter's not going to be the only one without a job. I'm not cut out to be a corporate killer.
Diane: Well, thank goodness for that.

Phil Wagner: I'm Phil Wagner. It's a policy at Talbert International to send a representative to check on how employees handle new assignments. I've been following you around all day.
Norm: All day?
Phil Wagner: That's right. Oh, by the way, how did you like Rice's catch in the third inning?
Norm: That was a great catch. Uh, look, sir. I guess you're going to tell them to find another killer. I have to say, I'm relieved, really.
Phil Wagner: Peterson, you made that man feel that he was fired from a sensitive, caring company. It was brilliant. Now, I'm going to recommend that they give you that corner office on the third floor overlooking the parking lot.
Norm: Isn't that Mr. Peabody's office?
Phil Wagner: Not after you talk with him tomorrow.

Sam: Where's Norm?
Diane: He's in the back room dropping the ax on his latest victim.
[A sobbing Norm is comforted by a young man as they walk out of the back room]
Michael: It'll be all right. I'll find another job... some day.
Norm: You promise?
Michael: I promise. Now buck up. [hugs Norm]
Norm: [sobs] That man is a prince.
Diane: Norman, why do you keep putting yourself through this? You must be emotionally drained at the end of the day.
Norm: Yeah. Yeah, I am. But, hey, I'm good at it, huh? I finally found something in life that I'm good at. Pity.

Sam: Norm, I'm sorry.Your office called. They're sending over a John Parker.
Norm: Another one? Last one of the day, I guess. Let's see what we got here. John Parker. Hmm. 35 years at the company. He's a widower, supports sickly parents. Oh, God, three foster children. So sad, so sad.

Sam: Hold on a sec, Walt, I've got some outgoing mail here.
Cliff: How do you like that? I just talked to Ma. Our neighbor's cleaning up his yard as we speak. He said he would have gotten to it sooner, but he's been in training for the Worldwide Heavy Weight Kick Boxing Championship. It's good I found out before that letter was mailed.

Sam: You OK?
Norm: I'm fine. Strangest dream. It was so weird, Sam. It was really dark, you know? And cold and eerie. It was out in the middle of nowhere, you know. I mean, it was nowhere but it was definitely somewhere. There was this line of accountants. It was my job to make them go through a pair of elevator doors. One by one they went, falling screaming into a bottomless pit. Then I turned around, there's this accountant wearing a blindfold, right? I went up to him.
[In the fantasy, Norm removes a blindfold to reveal another Norm. Both Norms start screaming. In reality, Sam rushes to comfort Norm as he starts screaming.]
Norm: No, wait. I'm just demonstrating.

Diane: Norman, don't you see what this dream means? A very precious part of you feels as if it's being destroyed by this job. The burden of your guilt is insupportable.
Norm: Hey, I never said I was in love with this job, OK? As a matter of fact, I think it stinks. But it is important. These guys would all be fired anyway. And I'm just providing a service, okay? I'm helping them through one of life's painful experiences.
Diane: Norman, these executives are having you do their dirty work. You are their Judas goat.
Norm: Oh, come on, just lighten up, will ya, Diane?
Diane: Well, I mean it. You should have more pride than to do repugnant tasks for people at their bidding.
Sam: You want to wipe up that bar sweat there?
Diane: Right away.

Sam: Can I get you something?
John Parker: No.
Sam: Are you OK?
John Parker: No- Norm Peterson invited me for a beer at Cheers.
Sam: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Well, he's sitting down right over there.
John Parker: So that's him?
Carla: [hums Chopin's "Funeral March"]