Cliff: Oh, hey, did you notice the pool on your way in?
Norm: Yeah.
Cliff: So when, uh, summer rolls around, and all those girls are out there in their French cut bikinis, I don't have to tell where I'll be.
Norm: Standing right here with a pair of binoculars?
Cliff: That's right.

Cliff: Hey, thanks for coming by, you guys, but, you know, I don't mean to be rude, but, uh, I got to ask you to skedaddle. I got somebody soft and sweet with a voice like a nightingale coming over.
Woody: Who, the busboy from Melville's is coming over here?
Cliff: No, no, Woody. Ruben's not coming over here. It's a... It's one of the women in the building.

Norm: Wait a minute, Cliffie. Are we actually talking a female here?
Cliff: Oh...
Norm: I mean, a real, live, breathing woman, three-dimensional, no posters, no polyurethane?
Cliff: Well you know, Normie, Sally is the real McCoy, and she is one gorgeous babe, to boot.
Norm: All right, well, this I got to see, Cliffie.
Woody: Yeah, maybe we could stick around and meet your lady friend, huh?
Cliff: Uh, no, you know, l, uh, guys, I really don't think that's a very good idea.
Norm: Well, why don't you bring her by the bar or something?
Cliff: Well, you know, I've been trying to get the woman to go out, Normie, but, uh, she just wants to stay, uh, held up here in our little hideaway. I guess I'm her love hostage.
Norm: Well, that's something I definitely don't care to see.

Cliff: Hey, if I'm not down at the bar, send out a missing swinger's report.

Cliff: Did you, uh, dab lip gloss on your eyelashes so they sparkle like the North Star?
Sally: [o.s.] Yes, Cliff. I'm coming out now.
Cliff: Okay.
Sally: [o.s.] Listen, don't stand too close, okay? Try me from a distance first.
Cliff: Okay. All right, I'm backing up. All clear! [Cliff drops his magazine] Wow.
Sally: Gee, thanks, Cliff. Oh, isn't it about time for Jeopardy?
Cliff: Huh?
Sally: Jeopardy.
Cliff: Jeopardy. Uh... All right. Uh... Why don't we go out?
Sally: Really, Cliff?
Cliff: Sure.
Sally: Great. Okay. I'll- l'll just, um, go do a little more blending, and then we'll go.
Cliff: I'll just, uh, be out here on the front porch and catch a little breath of fresh air. I got a fox!

Sam: Carla, Carla, Carla, Carla. Ladies room, ladies room. Please.
Carla: No, I'm not following her in there again, Sam.
Sam: I'm one puff away from paradise. Come on. Please.
Carla: There's only so much polite conversation you can make yelling over a stall.

Sally: Cliff, this isn't a dive.
Cliff: Well, no, by a dive, I meant that, uh it was below street level.
Sally: Oh, right.
Cliff: [nervous chuckle] Yeah, let me introduce you to my cronies. But I gotta warn you first, they can be a little bit crude, all right? Hey, guys. Va-va-va-voom, huh?

Cliff: Listen, Sam, about that over there...
Sam: No, I'm sorry. I want to apologize if I was out of line there, but, well, the truth is, you're gonna have to expect that kind of thing happening from now on.
Cliff: What do you mean?
Sam: Well, she's definitely a major-league looker, there, Cliff. I mean, guys are gonna be hitting on her all the time.
Cliff: Ah, you don't have to worry about that, Sammy. Sally is a one-man woman.
Sam: Better check your arithmetic there.

Sam: [to an elderly woman] Excuse me, excuse me. What was that lady doing in there? [she gives Sam a disgusted look] Oh, oh, no, no, no. You know no, you don't understand. See, we- W- Wait a minute. We have we have this little bet between us. Let me let me explain here. See, I get to go to bed with her if she smo... [the woman swings her handbag at Sam] Ow!

Alex Trebek: [on TV] Jamie Kelt is a correct response, but you forgot to phrase that in the form of a question. That's why they call it Jeopardy. However, you get to make the next selection.
Norm: Beer, Sam, please. Are you okay, Cliff?
Cliff: Jeopardy used to be our show, Normie. It's just not the same watching it by myself. I just don't know if I can go on without her.
Norm: She's only been gone for ten minutes.
Cliff: Yeah, I had to make her beautiful, Normie. I've created a beautiful monster. What am I going to do?
Norm: What is Paraguay?
Woman: [on TV] What is Paraguay?
Alex Trebek: on TV]Right.
Norm: Yeah! All right!
Cliff: Well, thanks a lot, Normie.
Norm: What is Notre Dame?!
Woman: [on TV] What is Notre Dame?
Alex Trebek: [on TV] That's right.
Norm: Ooh, yeah!