Cliff: Hey, Normie, I've got an easy way to find out whether or not your father-in-law's, uh, still alive or not.
Norm: Yeah?
Cliff: Yeah, yeah, you give, uh, Vera's parents' house a call. If a guy answers, bingo, there's your answer. Huh? I'll tell you what. I'll look up the number for you in the directory here. So what's, uh, what's Vera's maiden name?
Norm: It's, uh... Damn, this is gonna get embarrassing. Could I be having some severe memory lapse here?
Cliff: Oh, Norm, quick. In Herbie The Love Bug...
Norm: Yeah?
Cliff: Who played the bad guy?
Norm: Keenan Wynn.
Cliff: Your memory's sound, my friend.

Sam: Wow. How 'bout that? You guys are getting along great, aren't you?
Woody: Yep, Sam. You know, I owe it all to my little speech. As soon as I delivered it, he was putty in my hands.
Sam: Well, that's great, man, that's great.
Woody: Yeah.
Sam: I noticed, though, you said, uh, your speech, when, you know, technically it was my speech. Remember? Right over there, l, uh, thought it up.
Woody: You may have thought it up, Sam, but I'm the one who made it sing.
Sam: Well, whatever. Congratulations.
Woody: Yeah, you know, when, uh, Woody Boyd talks, people listen. Matter of fact, Sam, I'm gonna do you a great, big favor. Mr. Peterson, I'm gonna talk and you're gonna listen. It's about your beer tab.
Norm: Wood, stay in the shallow end.
Woody: Yeah, maybe you're right, sorry.

Norm: Get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it! Oh! Oh, man, this is great. [TV clicks off]
Sam: Norm?
Norm: Yeah?
Sam: The- The Barcalounger is only here for the day, right?
Norm: Thanksgiving just wouldn't be the same without it, Sam.
Sam: Tomorrow it goes back, right? I mean, you, you signed this agreement remember?

Rebecca: Sam, what do you think of all the decorations? I bought everything with my own money.
Sam: Yeah, you know, I've been meaning to ask you. What do skeletons and witches have to do with Thanksgiving?
Rebecca: Well, uh... the witches came over with the Pilgrims. And then the Pilgrims burned them all at the stake. And then, when they were all burned up, there was nothing left of them but skeletons. And that left the Pilgrims free to make a big dinner.
Sam: They were cheap, huh?
Rebecca: Actually, they were throwing them out.

Sam: Well, it looks, it looks really nice, Rebecca. It looks really nice. Wh- What about the, uh, the plates?
Rebecca: Oh, I'm going to borrow those from Melville's.
Sam: No, no! Oh, don't do that. Don't do that. If- If John Hill finds out, he'll blow his bald stack.
Rebecca: Oh, don't be silly. Melville's is closed and John Hill's at the Cape. Besides, I'm already using his oven to cook the turkey.
Sam: Well, in that case, uh, why don't you get some silverware. I think we've gonna run out of these sporks.

Frasier: Well, here we are, Frederick. [sings] Over the river and through the woods To the bar stool on the right. [talks] Ah, the beginnings of a marvelous Thanksgiving memory.

Mr. Gaines: Certain parties are here this evening, and things may get very delicate.
Woody: Oh, don't worry about a thing, Mr. Gaines. Boy, she looks familiar.
Mr. Gaines: Now, Woody!
Woody: Where have I seen her before? Help me out here, Mr. Gaines. I got it!
Mr. Gaines: Uh, everyone into the dining room. I can smell that turkey, it's all ready. Let's just move along now. The cranberry sauce and stuffing, all the trimmings. Let's just move right along. Come on, move, move, move, move. Save me a drumstick. Woody, I thought we had an understanding. Now, we went fishing, took you bowling, we went to the arcade... If there's a lower-middle class activity in Boston, we've done it.
Woody: Well, I'm sorry, Mr. Gaines. I was just trying to figure out where I knew Kelly's aunt from, and it finally came to me.
Mr. Gaines: Of course it came to you. You caught me making love to her on the floor of my office.
Woody: I met her at the wedding. Caught you what?
Mr. Gaines: Nothing. Let's eat.

Mr. Gaines: For God's sake, Woody, just sign or make your mark or whatever it is you do. [signs the document] Thank you, Woody.
Woody: Oh, wait, uh, Mr. Gaines. I just got paid today and, uh, if I'm now part of the Gaines estate, I guess I should do my part and throw my pay-check into the pot. [hands over his pay check]
Mr. Gaines: [chuckling] Good, Woody. Always leave them laughing.

Rebecca: Attention, everybody, I have an announcement to make. Thanksgiving is in a few days, and I know that some of you will not be able to spend it with your families. So, anybody who doesn't have any place to go on Thanksgiving is welcome to come to my apartment. I thought that would be a nice gesture.
Carla: How'd you like to see another nice gesture?
Rebecca: [writes] Carla Tortelli graciously accepts.

Woody: Oh, Mr. Gaines. What a nice surprise. You remember Mr. Peterson, Mr. Clavin?
Mr. Gaines: Nick. Clyde.
Norm: Actually, it's, uh, it's Norm, Cliff.
Mr. Gaines: You're lucky I got that close.