Sam: Hey, Cliffy.
Cliff: Oh, hey, Sam.
Sam: What are you doing standing out in the rain?
Cliff: Uh, it's good for the skin. You know, negative ions. Keeps it soft.
Sam: What'd you say to Carla, Cliffy.
Cliff: Called her a dwarf.
Sam: Oh.
Cliff: Could you, uh, untie me, Sam?
Sam: Yeah, sure.
Cliff: Thanks.
Sam: Oh, whoa, whoa, wait a second, wait a second. How much more time you got out here?
Cliff: Uh, five minutes.
Sam: I'm sorry, buddy, I can't do it. She'd have me standing right out here next to you.
Cliff: I understand, Sam, I understand. No hard feelings.

Sam: Oh, wait a second. Did you say Thanksgiving? Aw, shoot. See, I usually spend Thanksgiving with my old Army buddies.
Rebecca: Sam, you weren't in the Army.
Sam: No, no, but, uh, my buddies were.

Cliff: You know, l- l'd invite you all over to my place, but Ma's down in Florida working on her tan. Yeah, she's got this standing rule that, uh, when she's not around, I'm not allowed to bring any more than two friends over at a time.
Norm: Please, she's never gonna know.
Cliff: Yes, she will, Norm.

Sam: Tell you what, why- Why don't we have Thanksgiving dinner here at Cheers? Pot luck, huh?
Rebecca: Why here? Because you don't think I can handle the responsibility of making a big dinner for everybody?
Sam: Well, I was gonna beat around the bush a little bit, but, yeah, that's the gist.
Rebecca: Well, if you're gonna have it, can we have a turkey? I was just gonna make grilled cheese.

Sam: Why do you let him talk to you like that, huh?
Norm: Yeah, you got to stand up to him, Wood. I'd never let my father-in-law take advantage of me that way.
Cliff: l, uh, thought your father-in-law was dead, Norm.
Norm: You know, he might be. Haven't seen him in ages. Come to think of it, I do remember Vera left a note on the refrigerator one night. Something about a funeral. Ah, shoot, this is gonna drive me crazy.

Sam: Woody, you know, it's none of my business, but I think you ought to stand up to Mr. Gaines right now, or he's gonna be walking all over you the rest of your life.
Woody: Well, I'd like to stand up to him, Sam, but he scares me.
Sam: Well, I know. He's a pretty intimidating guy. But you know the way around that is you figure out what you're gonna say, get it in your head all straight, then you go over there and you tell him.
Woody: Well, what would you say, Sam?
Sam: Me? Oh. Well, I don't know. Something like, uh, you know, "I'm disappointed in you. You should be ashamed of yourself, you know. Things are gonna be different from now on. You're gonna give me the respect that I deserve."
Woody: Yeah, I always thought I did respect you, Sam. Maybe I was wrong.
Sam: Tell you what, why-why don't we, uh, why don't we drive over there and-and you can rehearse what you're gonna say on the way, all right?
Woody: Well, I suppose if I don't, I'll have to listen to another lecture about how I don't respect you.

Norm: Okay, okay, I'm 95% sure Vera's father is alive. No, no, dead. No, make that dead. He's dead. Or could he be... Well... Suppose I'll just call Vera and ask her, I guess. I don't know how you ask someone... [chuckles] a question like that. Although Vera is always saying we should talk more, you know. [on the phone] Uh, yes, hi, honey, hi. Uh, listen, um, do l, uh, do I have a dark suit? I do? Um, good. D- Do you remember, uh, why I bought it? A funeral, of course. Was, uh, was your father there? Was he wearing makeup by any chance? Vera? Vera? [hangs up] Shoot, this is gonna bug me all day.

Sam: What do you mean he's exercising?
Woody: That's what it looked like. I- I think he was doing push-ups.
Sam: Oh, come on. You're just trying to back out of this.
Woody: No, I'm not, Sam. I'm gonna tell him.
Sam: Well, then...
Hives: Excuse me. You're the gentlemen I led from the foyer to the library, am I correct?
Sam: [chuckles] Yeah, right.
Hives: Would you be a dear and help me find my way back?
Sam: Uh, sure. Well, actually, you know, it's not that hard. All you got to do is go down the, uh, that staircase with those naked angels that are carved in the banister. Then- Then you, uh, go through that long hallway with the three naked ladies kind of frolicking in the field there. And then you go take a left, and you get in that big room that has that, uh, bronze statue of the b... I'll tell you what, why don't I take you there myself? I'll be right back.

Woody: All right, just forget the whole thing.
Mr. Gaines: Well, no, Woody, if you want to be friends, that's- that's fine, that's fine. In fact, uh, we could, uh, oh...
Woody: Go fishing?
Mr. Gaines: Yeah, uh, fishing. Of course, fine. In fact, why don't we go fishing in your new boat?
Woody: [chuckles] My new boat?!
Mr. Gaines: Yes.
Woody: Really?
Mr. Gaines: In- In fact, uh, why don't we call it the S.S. Silence?
Woody: Well, I'm sure we can come up with a better name than that, but thanks.
Mr. Gaines: Hooray. [both chuckle]
Woody: You know, I get a feeling we're gonna be pretty close from now on, Mr. Gaines. [exits]
Katherine Gaines: Well, Walter did he know what we were doing?
Mr. Gaines: Not only does he know, but he's doing it to me.

Rebecca: Okay, you guys, I'm trying to get a head count here so I know how many people are here for Thanksgiving so I can have enough turkey.
Cliff: Oh, easy on the turkey for me, though, Rebecca, 'cause, uh, those tryptophanes just put me to sleep.
Carla: Get two turkeys.