Carla: I'd like two draughts and a Scotch on the rocks. You know, there's a group over there arguing about the sweatiest movie ever made.
Norm: The what?
Carla: What movie did people sweat most in?
Norm: That's easy. Rocky ll.
Cliff: No, no. Not even close. Body Heat. Sweat city.
Ron: Ben Hur. The boys in that galley sweat like pigs.
Norm: No, no. Alien. That's right. Buckets.
Diane: This the night before my wedding and I'm in the middle of a sweat contest.

Carla: Hey, cheer up, cookie. He may have been in an accident.

Norm: Sox lost again today, Sam. Sure could have used you coming out of the pen, buddy.
Sam: Not in the shape I'm in, Norm.
Norm: Oh. Yo, miss! [taps beer glass on bar] Wouldn't you love to see Sammy, there, flinging the ol' horsehide again?
Diane: Flinging what?
Norm: Don't you know who this is? He used to be one of the best pitchers in baseball. Samuel "Mayday" Malone.

Boy: How about a beer, chief?
Sam: How about an ID?
Boy: [laughs] An ID? That's very flattering! Wait till I tell the missus.
Sam: Ah, military ID. First Sergeant Walter Keller, born 1944. That makes you 38. Must've fought in Vietnam.
Boy: Oh, yeah.
Sam: What was it like?
Boy: It was gross.
Sam: Yeah, that's what they say. War is gross. I'm sorry, soldier.
Boy: This is the thanks we get.

Diane: Sumner, this is crazy.
Sumner: Diane, we're about to be married.
Boy: Married! Congratulations! Let's celebrate with a drink.
Sumner: [laughs] I think not.
Boy: I give it six months. [exits]
Sumner: Perhaps we won't have children right away.

Sumner: Come on. Let's sit here.
Diane: Sumner, now, we have a plane to catch.
Sumner: Diane, if we're going to be married, I insist you have my grandmother's antique gold wedding ring.
Diane: Didn't you say that ring is still on your ex-wife's finger? I don't need it. You're enough for me.
Sumner: True. But symbols are important. Just let me call Barbara and see if she's home. Ah, the phone's back here. As long as we're here, let's celebrate with some champagne.

Diane: Now, listen, I didn't like doing that.
Sam: I'm sorry. If I didn't own this place, I'd fire me on the spot. Tell you what, for lying for me, I'll buy you your first drink.
Diane: Oh, I'd like a bottle of your best champagne.
Sam: It wasn't that great a lie.
Diane: No, no, we'll pay for it.
Sumner: We're on our way to get married.
Sam: Well, hey, then this is on me. Congratulations.

Sumner: Good news. Barbara was home. She said I can come over.
Diane: Well, do you want me to go with you?
Sumner: No, it could get a trifle sticky. Besides, if she saw the dazzling beauty who's about to succeed her, it would break her heart again.
Diane: Oh, Sumner, I'm not beautiful.
Sumner: Ah, blasphemy.

Sam: So where's the ceremony gonna be?
Diane: Well, we're getting married tomorrow, in Barbados.
Sam: Oh, hey, nice.
Sumner: I'm Dr Sumner Sloane, Professor of World Literature at the U.
Diane: He has an article in the current Harper's.
Sumner: Diane's been my teaching assistant for almost two years. Now, today, I was sitting in my office with Diane. I looked up from my Proust, she had her nose in her Yeats. And I said to myself, "l would be crazy to let this girl get out of my life." So, right there on the spot, I said, "Let's get married."
Diane: What he actually said was, "Come with me and be my love, and we will some new pleasures prove." That's Donne.
Sam: I certainly hope so.
Sumner: No. John Donne, the poet.
Sam: Ah, well, that's lovely.

Sam: He's quite a fella, your fiance.
Diane: Listen, uh, you don't have to make conversation with me. Nothing personal, but I'm not in the habit of talking with bartenders.
Sam: I understand. One's trying to move into my neighborhood.