Sam: Hey, Cliffie, I can't turn the key here.
Cliff: Well, yeah, it's got a security device on it there, Sam.
Sam: Oh.
Cliff: Yeah, what I do is turn the wheel all the way to the left and then, uh, crank the key as hard as I can.
Sam: Oh, man. Look at that. I just broke the key off in the ignition.
Cliff: I said "as hard as I can," Sammy.

Cliff: Yeah, well, uh, you know what your friend Buck, uh, didn't, uh, reckon on there, Sammy, was that Cliff Clavin anti-theft device. Yeah, you see old Mr. Car Thief gets the shock of his life, the doors automatically lock shut, and the alarm goes off.
Norm: Wait a minute, wait a minute. The doors lock automatically?
Cliff: Yeah, but the alarm's supposed to be going off. You know, it must be on the fritz. Our ears should be ringing by now.
Norm: Oh, I'll just have to do it manually. [shouts] You locked us out of the car!

Frasier: My phone! My phone is ringing! All right! And the doors are locked!
Norm: Well, break the damn window!
Cliff: Are you kidding me?! You know how much those windows cost?
Sam: We don't have time to argue here, Cliff.
Cliff: You're not breaking those windows. You just try it, young man. You're gonna have to come through me... [glass breaking] You're gonna pay for that, I hope you know.

Cliff: Look, I'm not the one that fell asleep at the wheel.
Sam: I wouldn't have fallen asleep at the wheel if you hadn't given me that extra shift.
Cliff: Well, we were behind schedule.
Frasier: Yes, I believe that was your fault for getting your fat butt lodged in that cavern.
Cliff: Well, I was looking for my Hopalong Cassidy watch. Do you mind?!

Frasier: You know, l, I hate to bring this up, but, uh we could really be in some, some serious trouble here.
Sam: Oh, come on, man. Hey, listen, at least we, uh, we've got each other here, right? I mean, you know, here we are out in the desert, back to nature. I mean, look, look at this air here. It's clear. It's fresh. I mean, isn't that why we came out here in the first place?
Frasier: Yeah, yeah.
Norm: Look at the stars, guys. Look at that. Got to be a million of 'em up there. Kind of makes you feel insignificant, huh?
Cliff: Yeah, I don't feel anything.

Rebecca: Frankie?
Frankie: Yeah?
Rebecca: I need you to move those big boxes to the other side of the poolroom.
Frankie: Gosh, Miss Howe, it's the fifth time today. I'm getting kind of sweaty.
Rebecca: Well, then take off your shirt, you goose.

Carla: Oh, Frankie.
Frankie: What?
Carla: I thought I told you to stay away from Rebecca. Look, the woman is a tramp. All she wants you for is your body.
Frankie: Miss Howe? She seems so nice.
Carla: [chuckles] Are you kidding? She has had every man in this bar. Every single one.
Frankie: What?
Carla: That's right. Most of 'em, ten, 20 times. Look, you're a good boy, Frankie. Now, go, go. Get out of here, before it's too late. Now, go. Run like the wind! Go! Don't ever come back!
Frankie: I won't. You know what I'm going to do on the way home?
Carla: What?
Frankie: I'm going to stop at Saint Michael's, and I'm going to pray for her soul. [exits]
Carla: You do that. How the hell did he ever get in my family?

Frasier: Well, I've lived a good life. The only thing I regret is I didn't get a chance to say good-bye to Lilith and Frederick, to tell them how much I love them.
Sam: Well, at least you've got somebody to carry on your name, you know. I- I don't have anybody. If I die out here, it's me dying alone.
Frasier: No, you're not, Sam. You've got us.