Cliff: Well, I don't care what anybody says, we had better chatter out there.
Steve: Shut up, Cliff.
Diane: Sounds suspiciously as if there is no joy in Mudville.
Sam: Who gives a damn? We lost.
Carla: We didn't lose. We got dumped on. We were dragged by our noses through the dung heap. They ripped out our guts, held them up for us to see, and then they rammed them down our throats.
Diane: Ah, it's a grand old game.

Sam: What the hell? First round on the house.
Alan: Hey, Sammy!
Carla: Yeah, well, if you think I'm drinking with you guys, you're nuts! I'd rather drink with those snail pellets from Gary's Old Towne Tavern. At least they're winners.

Gary: Gentlemen of Cheers. And ladies. Tough game out there today.
Sam: What are you doing here?
Gary: Boy, you guys have the worst luck.
Sam: Yeah, it looks like it just followed us home, huh?
Gary: Listen, we were over having a celebration at my little tavern and I kept thinking, "Something's missing." It wasn't as happy as it usually is when we beat you. And then I realized what it was. I didn't get a chance to thank you guys for the game. So I came over here to do it now. [to Steve] Way to go. [to Norm] The pop-up king. [to Alan] Many thanks. [to Cliff] Great glasses. Oh, oh, this is what I was afraid of. Hard feelings.
Sam: What are you talking about?
Gary: You guys have nothing to hang your heads about. You played hard. You played clean. You gave it your all. Just remember, it takes two sides to make a victory. One side to win... and you guys.

Sam: Hey, look, Gar. You only came here to rub our noses in it. You've done a great job. Mission accomplished. Now why don't you take off.
Tim: Yeah, take a hike.
Gary: Sam, I came here in the spirit of sportsmanship.
Carla: I'll show you sportsmanship. [blows a raspberry]
Diane: People! People! This is neither the time nor the place for such childish behavior.
Carla: Yeah, let's save it for when we kick his butt.
Gary: In what? We're kind of running out of sports, aren't we? [chuckles] Well, it's really been a truly enjoyable afternoon. Gentlemen, ladies.

Sam: Hey, hey, hey. Listen, I'll have you know that I'm putting together a team right this moment, that's gonna have you shaking in those shoes of yours. Hey, those are nice.
Gary: Well, thanks. And is that a challenge?
Sam: Yeah.
Gary: In what sport?
Sam: I'll tell you in what sport. In...
Gary: Bowling.
Sam: Yeah, bowling.
Gary: Great! I've knocked down a pin or two in my day. When and where?
Sam: Well, I'll just let you know. Okay?
Gary: Okay.
Sam: Okay.
Gary: Okay.
Sam: Okay!
Gary: Okay!
Sam: Okay!
Gary: Okay!
Sam: Okay!

Carla: We got a team.
Sam: Yeah, of what, I'd like to know. I'm gonna call Gary and call it off.
Carla: I'm telling you, when one lousy bar can't produce four decent bowlers, it's time for America to take a long, hard look at itself.

Carla: Hey, you! You don't know anything about bowling, do you? [Woody walks away without making eye contact] Hey, Woodhead. I asked you if you know how to bowl. [Woody avoids Carla] You have bowled, haven't you?
Woody: Yes.
Carla: When? When?
Woody: Before.
Carla: Before what?
Woody: Before I came to Cheers.
Carla: You're good, aren't you?
Woody: I won a couple trophies.

Carla: Sammy. Sam, Sam, don't- Don't call it off!
Sam: What? What?
Carla: Hold on a second. We got a ringer.
Sam: Got a what?
Carla: We got a ringer. Woody. Woody is a bowling machine. Trust me. He's got a room full of trophies.
Sam: [on the phone] Hey, Gar. No, we're not wimping out. Yeah, tomorrow. Vic's Bowl-A-Rama. We rumble. Okay! Okay! Ah, that's... [hangs up]

Sam: All right, Woody!
Carla: Woody!
Woody: Please don't ask me to bowl. I can't.
Sam: Why not?
Woody: The tragedy.
Sam: Well, what tragedy?
Carla: What tragedy?
Woody: Once I maimed a man in a bowling accident. I'll never bowl again as long as I live.
Carla: Great idea, Sam. Bowling.

Sam: Okay, it's time to go. Let's see if we can, you know, maybe somehow manage not to embarrass ourselves.
Norm: Ladies and gentlemen, Knute Rockne.