[on film:]
Cliff: Uh, nice place, huh?
Norm: Yeah, normally, for this sort of ambiance, you'd have to travel to Albuquerque.
Cliff: Hi, Corinne.
Corinne: Hi, honey. Studying at the feet of the master?
Woody: Huh?

[on film: Corinne wheels out a trolley laden with overflowing plates of food for Norm]
Norm: Oh, Corinne, I think you forgot the, uh, French fries.
Corinne: Don't you wanna save room for dessert?
Norm: You're one step ahead of me.
Woody: They take care of you here.

[on film:]
Woody: Finally I want you to meet my good friend, Dr. Frasier Crane. Now, I know what you always said about psychiatrists, Dad, but, uh, he's not a crook or a nut case or anything. He's a pretty smart guy. Well, here you go, Dr. Crane.
Frasier: Thank you, Woody. Mr. and Mrs. Boyd, in Woody, you have raised a young man of singular character, not easily swayed by the attitudes of those around him. Trust him. Trust yourselves. Let him do what he wants to with his life. Now, let me address some of your reservations about the psychiatric profession. In this building, you see 18 floors of highly trained, dedicated professionals, whose sole purpose is to heal the mind.
And, you know, I think my mentor...
[on film, a man is shown falling past Frasier's office window. In the bar:]
Frasier: Norm, Norm, could you run that back for me, please? [film replays] You know, I think my mentor I've gotta tell Dr. Judd to keep his windows closed during his depression seminar.

Diane: May I say something?
Sam: Go ahead, go ahead. Tell me how right you were. Get it over with.
Diane: On the contrary, I was about to say that I don't think any of these people realize what a fine job you did.
Sam: Oh, right.
Diane: No, I mean that. What you have here is the raw material for a truly fine film.
Norm: Well, thank you.
Diane: The problem is entirely with its structure. It's too linear.
Norm: Yeah, that was gnawing at me, too.
Diane: We need to make a film that appeals to the emotions, not the intellect. If you'll allow me, I can transform your film into a shattering emotional experience.
Sam: What are you gonna do to it?
Diane: Oh, a snip here, a snip there, nothing much.

[Wagner's "Ride of the Valkyrie" plays]
Diane: [v.o.] In a world gone mad, where can a young man go? Where? Where? Tell me where?

Diane: [o.s.] Shouldn't we all have the chance to live our lives the way we choose? Please, give us that chance in the time we have left.

Diane: Well?
All: Uh...
Norm: Gee, uh, you know...
Diane: Oh, you're hurt because I was the only one who had a credit at the end. [all disagreeing]
Sam: You keep the credits.
Diane: Oh, thanks. It's just that I felt I transformed your film into a personal statement that was pure Diane Chambers.
Carla: It was pure something.

Woody: You sure you don't mind if I take this picture, Sam?
Sam: No, I want you to have it.
Carla: While we're at it, Woody, here.
Woody: Oh, one of your Elvis earrings.
Carla: Yeah. Well, he was one of a kind and so are you.
Woody: Oh.
Carla: Besides, the guy I went out with last night, he swallowed the other one.

Woody: Uh... I gotta go.
Sam: I'll walk you to the car.
Woody: No, no, no, I... l wanna remember you guys the way you're standing.
Diane: Bye, Woody.
Sam: Well, hell, we don't have to stand around here forever, do we?
Frasier: Does anybody know his shirt size?

Woody: Oh, I can stay!
Cliff: Oh, Woody!
Diane: Yeah, after reflecting on my film, he was finally moved by its timeless message.
Woody: No, he tossed it in the thresher.