Michael: How come you never said anything? How come Mom never told-
Buster: You leave Mother out of this. She knows nothing.
Michael: Why are you protecting her? What are you not telling me?
Buster: I did it, but nothing's gonna happen to me because I'm just a boy.
Michael: I heard that already, pal. Do not protect Mother. This looks very, very bad. You know, Lottie is gonna make it look like you're one of those guys that pushes old ladies down stairs.
Buster: Lottie. She's so mean. I wish I could shove her down the st-
Michael: Hey! Shh! No more talking about shoving, pushing-
Man: [o.s.] No touching!
Michael: Or touching.

Narrator: They were two tough guys right out of Guys and Dolls, a play they were in the middle of a very successful four-week run of at a local community theater. Reminds me of how Hanks walked around like Jim Lovell for a year.

Gob: So here's the illusion: I'm gonna go into the wall a gay man, which I am.
Buster: Wow.
Gob: If anyone from the Gay Mafia asks. And then, when I come out the other side, I will be magically straightened out. Well, cis male, high butch.
Narrator: Gob had learned a lot in the short time he'd been magically gay.
Gob: Buster, you do this for me one day I'll come to you for a favor.

Judge Stanley: All right. Mr. Bluth, call your next witness.
Michael: I would like to call Lucille Bluth, the accused mother.
Judge Stanley: I think you mean "the accused's mother."
Michael: Oh, what did I say?

Sally Sitwell: What are you doing? Are you not a member of this family?
Lucille: Uh, he wants to be, but this is going to guarantee it'll never happen.
Tobias: I'm sorry, but I'm doing this for ethical reasons. I need the money.

Narrator: And soon, Buster caught up with his mother.
Buster: Hello, Mother. Didn't expect to see you here.
Lucille: Why the hell wouldn't I be here?
Buster: No, you would be. I wouldn't. You didn't invite me. But, fortunately, Gob invited me. Hey, Gob. I bet you think you're seeing me here.
Gob: Yeah, you're part of the illusion.
Buster: Okay, I'll meet you backstage.
Gob: Yeah, I expect to see you there. Why are you-?
Buster: I bet you didn't expect him to expect to see me back there.

Buster: Well, I didn't chicken out. I mean, people even say I stole the show. You know, I'm thinking about doing, like, a solo show. Maybe do some close-up magic. A little sleight of...
Michael: Foot.
Buster: Oh. Is it that obvious?
Gob: Yeah.
Michael: Did you get that from my office?
Buster: Yeah, I Ali-Baba-ed a hand, but at least they sent me a lefty.

Michael: So, you thought Mimi was talking about you. That- That you were her child, and that she was gonna take you away.
Buster: Well, had I known that she was talking about Lindsay, I would have been, like, "Goodbye, Felicia." I mean, I didn't even really get close to her until we made soup that one time.
Michael: Is it true? Did you push Mimi down the stairs?
Buster: I did, but nothing's gonna happen to me 'cause I'm just a boy.

Buster: Um, it was given to me, but I can't tell you by whom. But Dusty thinks we're better off just ignoring it.
Michael: Yeah, I think that's a bad idea. And I'm a little concerned about Dusty. His inexperience could hurt you. And, I'm sorry, I cannot let that happen. Not on my watch.
Buster: Mm-hmm. Yeah, I saw A Few Good Men, too. But Dusty's the real deal. Sorry, Michael. [altered voice] "Game recognizes game."
Michael: Mom is hiding something. She even asked Dusty to find some secret videotapes. You wouldn't have any idea where something like that would be, would you?
Buster: You don't have to save everyone, Michael.
Narrator: Michael knew there was only one way to get Buster to turn on his mother.
Michael: Okay. Don't tell me. Dusty sure won't. Not after Mom told him he could call her "Mother."
Buster: Oh, they went to the cottage. I'd check the cottage.

Narrator: After talking to Michael, Buster had grown even more nervous about keeping Gob's secret.
Gob: ...the body you dumped was Tony Wonder's magic dummy, because no one wants to get put away for murder. I get it.
Buster: Well, it is their main evidence against me, and it does look like I'm disposing Lucille 2's body.
Gob: Not, no- Very different body types, I can assure you, just- Even in the dark, you wouldn't make that, uh, mistake. Anyway, I'm concerned that, uh... You, uh... Could you really enjoy your freedom, knowing that you hurt my career? And don't forget, Buster, when you were a boy, magic saved your life.
Buster: Uh... Uh, look, we don't have to say that it was a Tony Wonder dummy. We could tell them it's a random dummy.
Gob: And violate magician-assistant privilege? Not an option! If you help me with this illusion, then you can be my assistant for the rest of my magic career. Every show, every city, pending availability and parole conditions.
Buster: Yeah. But what if I'm convicted, Gob?
Gob: I don't know. I'll use Adhir.