Narrator: There was one bright spot when they simultaneously stumbled on a term they both secretly recognized take this hot mess of a skirt would be useful in their future disagreements.
Man: [on TV] I'm covered with glue and I'm, like "This is a hot mess!"
Lucille: [mouths] "Hot mess."
Buster: [mouths] "Hot mess."

Narrator: But as her trial grew closer, it was getting harder for Lucille not to alienate her alibi.
Lucille: This toast has hook holes. Again! I told you to get rid of that thing. It's hideous. Plus, what's gonna happen when they swear you in? You're gonna rip the Bible in half. The jury'll love that.
Buster: You're getting pretty snippy to your key witness, aren't you?
Lucille: What do you want?
Buster: Maybe you could hook me up with a little stimmy. Lil' stimmy.
Lucille: Are you trying to do this?
Buster: Yes! And I want stimmy to get a hook that'll do that.

Lucille: Because it was your life I was going after to save. He fell off the boat. He'll tell you in my own words.
Buster: Uh... Homosexuals kidnapped-
Lucille: Up, up, up.
Buster: Homosexuals kidnapped the boat and took it on a joy ride. Mother didn't want to trample their rights, so she let 'em. Then she realized that her son fell off the boat and into the water, and she went back. Oh, and a fish swam by my ankle. [gasps] That really happened. Should I keep that?
Lucille: Make it an eel.
Buster: Okay. It's gonna be an eel!
Barry: Better.

Narrator: She was the best villain casting since Shirley MacLaine in Gangie 4.

Narrator: After Lucille got settled in, she received a visitor.
Lucille: You missed my trial, George. How could you?
George Sr.: I told you I was sorry. I was unconscious on the sweat lodge floor. I lost two days.
Lucille: I'm losing three to five years. And those are the last years, George, the best years, where you can have sex and not worry about getting pregnant.

Lucille: Ignore them. Their bark is louder than the dogs they eat back home. And I got news for them. Anyone who comes after me is going to be one unfortunate cookie. [laughs] I made a pun. [sighs]

Buster: Mother! I fell in the ocean. Why didn't you come for me?
Lucille: And there it is.
George Sr.: What?
Lucille: I did, Buster.
Buster: What?
Lucille: Tell them how you were drowning and I commandeered the ship to save you. Tell them what I did. [winks] The truth.
Buster: Okay. She stole the Queen Mary to get away from the SEC. Oh, and she winked. Correction, it's a glare. [chuckles]

Narrator: And losing confidence in her star witness, Lucille decided to take a few keepsakes with her in case things didn't go her way. And that's when she discovered that the family she believed supported her had actually already begun divvying up her stuff in case she lost.
Lucille: Aw. And he's supposed to be the good one. This does not bode well for tomorrow.
Narrator: Actually, they'd claimed those things years earlier when she was having a sunspot checked. But she was right to worry about the turnout for the trial.

Judge Kornzucker: Does the defense have a witness they'd like to call? Any witness?
Lucille: Please tell me you're working on a strategy for us.
Barry: Oh. It's us now? Well, we have Lucille Austero. She's the only one who showed. I don't think that is good for us.
Lucille: Nonsense. She owns the company now. She's got as much to lose as I do. And she's a dear friend. Oh, I'll do it myself though. I need this to go well.

Barry: Oh, that's gotta be a treasure chest.
Lucille: You think that went well?
Barry: I do.