Gob: Is there a private bathroom nearby?
George Sr.: You're looking at it.
Gob: No, I can't use that. No, no, I need privacy. Yeah, I've always been that way. No, no, I need privacy. Yeah, I've always been that way. I can't go without privacy. I c- I can't pass this key without privacy!
George Sr.: Well, I could ask the guys to leave, but, uh they've been locking the doors lately.
Gob: I... I've made a huge mistake.

Narrator: At this moment, Maeby found another opportunity to rebel.
Maeby: We have to save this tree.
George Michael: We have to!

George Michael: You know, I can see why your mom likes it. It is a really nice tree.
Maeby: We've gotta get it torn down.
George Michael: That must die. Stupid tree.

Michael: [answers phone] Hello.
Gob: Michael. Change of escape plan. I unplugged the ice cream sandwich machine and the guards are all eating them before they get too melty so I've got like a half an hour. Meet me at the south prison wall and bring the stairs.

Michael: Hey, Gob!
Gob: Where the hell are the stairs?
Michael: Oh! I thought you were kidding! Hey, speaking of kidding, how serious are you about Marta? I get the sense that there's not much of a future there. Am I reading that right?
Gob: Let me ask you something. How would you feel if I came down on you hard?
Michael: You're saying I'm not reading this right.
Gob: No, I'm saying I need to jump on you to break my fall.

Gob: I'm a complete failure.
George Sr.: Where'd you get that kind of talk?
Gob: From you. You always say that about me.
George Sr.: Well, maybe you're not entirely to blame. I haven't always been the best kind of father either.
Gob: You've done a pretty good job of being a father to everybody in here. What have they got that I don't? You've never even thrown a ball around with me.
George Sr.: Great. Now you're an athlete.