Tobias: Well, I'm off to the the gym to prepare for our tryst.
Michael: Tryst?
Tobias: Yes. Lindsay and I are planning a night of heterosexual intercourse.
Michael: You can just say intercourse.

Tobias: Aw, this isn't going to happen. I just want you to be satisfied.
Lindsay: Oh, T, you're always thinking of others.
Tobias: I tried that. It didn't work either.
Lindsay: Well, you know, maybe I would be more attracted to you if you were in better shape. You know, if were just more muscular and masculine. Does that make me shallow?
Tobias: No. I was going to say the same thing to you.

Michael: Kind of remember these being faster, you know?
Tobias: Yeah, well, we were probably all so jacked up on amyl and disco music, we didn't notice. But you know what? I'm glad about this printer lag, because I was hoping to have a jaw session with you.
Michael: Well, why don't we just say as long as that means a talk.

Lindsay: Yeah, well, I think it's crazy. You've given her access to everything... the banking and for what? I mean, you're basing this whole thing on the fact that she shares a name with someone you played with as a baby.
Michael: Lindsay, I can tell that it's real. It's like that feeling that you read about twins having.
Lindsay: We're twins. You didn't give me access to the banking.
Michael: No, you'd just, you'd go out and you'd just whore it up, Lindsay, you know? Now she's different. She's a little bit more like me. It's like we finish each other's...
Lindsay: Sandwiches?
Michael: Sentences. Why would I say...
Lindsay: Sandwiches?
Michael: That time I was going to say sandwiches.

Narrator: Michael Bluth believed he'd just made a shocking discovery.
Michael: I mean, that might be an older sister that we've never met.
Lindsay: Wow! Look at the beak on that bird.
Narrator: Michael found the picture in a secret room while looking for incriminating evidence against his father.

Lindsay: Well, why don't you just go to Dad and ask him who Nellie is, point-blank?
Michael: So he can just cover it up and lie? I can't stand to hear one more lie out of this family.
Tobias: [to Lindsay] Oh, there's the woman I'm sexually attracted to.
Michael: Okay, but that's the last one.

Lindsay: We're going to go for it in a month.
Tobias: Starting at the start of next month.
Lindsay: And we're going to call it a 31-day month.
Tobias: Even though this particular month has 30 days.
Lindsay: Oh, you know what? I've already prepared a list of "won'ts."
Tobias: Oh, you're not going to believe this. My list of "can'ts."

Gob: Oh, please. Pity the fool who gives me a bunch of jibber-jabber about romance. My religious girlfriend just dumped me, and for a simple little misunderstanding. I mean, if someone was always asking you to embrace the Holy Trinity, what would you think they meant?
[flashback:]
Narrator: Gob thought it meant a three-way.
Gob: What? I thought that's what all you guys lived for. What about you? You game?

Gob: The real problem is, she keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. The something of my ways. Wisdom?
Michael: It's probably wisdom. Gob, listen. Can I ask you a question? Do you remember growing up with a sister?
Gob: Sister? Uh... No, I don't. Not really ringing any bells.
Michael: Other than Lindsay, of course.
Gob: Oh! Lindsay!
Michael: Well, you might not be the most reputable source on this.

Lucille: Michael, what a surprise.
Michael: Really? Were you expecting somebody else? Maybe, uh, one of your two daughters?
Lucille: Oh, Lindsay and Tobias never visit. [giggles] Oh, we're so bad!
Michael: I- I actually meant Lindsay and Nellie.
Lucille: You call him that, too? It's so nice to be able to talk like this.