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Check Mates

‘Check Mates’

Season 5, Episode 12 -  Aired March 15, 2019

George Sr., Lucille and Maeby give honesty a try. Meanwhile, as Michael searches for capital hidden within the Bluth Company, George Michael looks for a way out of Fakeblock.

Quote from Michael

George Michael: Well, maybe we're gonna end up together in the banana stand someday.
Michael: Mm. Well, there's always money in the banana stand.
George Michael: Right.
Michael: Where is that from? Is that from something?

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Quote from Michael

Michael: Hey. I got you an office-warming gift. I guess now it's an office-closing gift, but take a look at this. Your first paycheck at the banana stand. Look at that. Oh, I just wanted to frame up the the first one as a reminder of the value of a an honest day's work.
George Michael: It's funny, I don't remember ever getting a paycheck from-
Michael: You didn't. No, I couldn't give this to you because you were underage. In fact, I couldn't pay you, period, as an employee without getting in trouble with the government. I think we had you coded as a topping. No, in fact, where is it? There it is, right there. "Payment of two drums of dried George Michael."
George Michael: "A cocoa-based, non-digestive"
Michael: "Colorant."
George Michael: I used to love those.
Michael: Yeah. I still do, kiddo.

Quote from George Michael

George Michael: Hey, guys. Yo. Hey. All right, question: How many of you wake up with a knot in your stomach? Right. Me, too. But I like to think of that knot in my stomach as a little ball of energy. You know, it keeps me frightened when I should be calm. It pumps adrenaline through my veins when ordinary blood is what I need. But, you know, all of these things can create a winning spirit. One that I would like for all of you to share in. So that we can turn those knots in our stomach into why-nots. You know? People say there there's no such thing as privacy on the Internet. Well, why not?
Man: Why not?
George Michael: Yeah. Right. People say no one can build a completely impenetrable wall. Why not?
Employees: Why not?
George Michael: And, you know, people say you shouldn't start a company without cracking the technology that supports the flagship product of the company. For obvious reasons. Well, why not?
Employees: Why not?
George Michael: And what if you find out you're never gonna get paid, there is no product, and you're like, "Well, we can't let him get away with this." Well, why not? [employees murmuring]
Narrator: That may have been a step too far. But it wouldn't matter, because Maeby had just gotten some good news.

Quote from George Michael

Michael: Am I interrupting?
George Michael: Uh, sorry. It's- You know how deadlines are with this stuff. It's tight.
[George Michael's browser is open to a "Which Anne Hathaway character are you?" quiz]
Michael: Sure. You're selling the company? I thought the free office space would help.
George Michael: No, it's just, you know, we have so many expenses that I don't know how I'm gonna pay the staff. I mean, I've gone through this three times. I'm just... I gotta get smart.
Michael: Well, hey, can't you get an intern?
George Michael: No, I keep getting Catwoman.
Michael: What's that?
George Michael: It's the thread-count question. It's gotta be the thread-count question.

Quote from Tobias

[Incidental music from The Golden Girls plays]
Narrator: Meanwhile, Maeby was growing tired of her living conditions.
Maeby: Stan, turn down Wayne Brady!
Tobias: [high-pitched voice] I surely couldn't. [troupe laughs]

Quote from Michael

Narrator: And while Maeby had finally accepted her family, Michael was ready to investigate his.
Michael: Where are you, banana stand money? "There's always money in the banana stand." That's gotta be from South Park.

Quote from Michael

Michael: Hello, hello.
Lucille: There he is, the man of the hour!
Michael: You all right, Mom?
Lucille: Oh, I'm just happy to see you.
Michael: That's what's off.

Quote from Buster

Oscar: You're not a fugitive wanted for killing Lucille 2. And you're not on the run. I was just telling you that because, honestly, I've just enjoyed being with you so much, and, um... I'm sorry.
Buster: I have a confession of my own to make.
Oscar: Huh?
Buster: I also knew we were not being looked for. I went along with it because I- I- I wanted to spend some more time with you.
Oscar: All right. All right, well, then go on inside and sign out, and, uh, let's continue the adventure.
Buster: Okay. Okay, okay. But while I'm gone...
Oscar: Yeah?
Buster: Pick what you want to do when we get back. Here's your choices: lay down inside, get scared of the dark inside, or play hide-and-go-seek inside. Well, this shouldn't take too long for me to sign out. I hope you don't mind waiting for me.
Oscar: Hey, I ain't going nowhere.
Buster: Okay. Oh, and one more thing. I don't like the smell of marijuana or your behavior when I've caught you with it, so it's me or the weed.

Quote from George Sr.

Narrator: George and Lucille were finally having dinner with their wall investors, and they were waiting for the right opportunity to lie about why they couldn't build it.
George Sr.: I'd just like to thank you for joining us for dinner.
Chen Wu: The least we can do is pick up the check. You have burned so many phones talking to us.
George Sr.: And to many, many more burnings.
Lucille: Ganbei.

Quote from George Sr.

Narrator: Caught in a lie, George Sr. had no choice...
George Sr.: Look, we invested your money. That's the truth.
Narrator: but to tell a lie with the word "truth" in it.
George Sr.: And, uh, we can get it for you right now. I mean, just like that, but, um, you know what? We- We were thinking-
Lucille: Wouldn't they rather wait until the investment comes to fruition?
Chen Wu: We want the wall. We'll pass on the fruition.
George Sr.: Well, but, the banks are closed, you know, tomorrow being the seventh.

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