Tobias Quote #271
Quote from Tobias in Check Mates
[Incidental music from The Golden Girls plays]
Narrator: Meanwhile, Maeby was growing tired of her living conditions.
Maeby: Stan, turn down Wayne Brady!
Tobias: [high-pitched voice] I surely couldn't. [troupe laughs]
More Arrested Development Quotes
‘Check Mates’ Quotes
Quote from Michael
George Michael: Well, maybe we're gonna end up together in the banana stand someday.
Michael: Mm. Well, there's always money in the banana stand.
George Michael: Right.
Michael: Where is that from? Is that from something?
Quote from Michael
Michael: Hey. I got you an office-warming gift. I guess now it's an office-closing gift, but take a look at this. Your first paycheck at the banana stand. Look at that. Oh, I just wanted to frame up the the first one as a reminder of the value of a an honest day's work.
George Michael: It's funny, I don't remember ever getting a paycheck from-
Michael: You didn't. No, I couldn't give this to you because you were underage. In fact, I couldn't pay you, period, as an employee without getting in trouble with the government. I think we had you coded as a topping. No, in fact, where is it? There it is, right there. "Payment of two drums of dried George Michael."
George Michael: "A cocoa-based, non-digestive"
George Michael: I used to love those.
Michael: Yeah. I still do, kiddo.
Tobias Funke Quotes
Quote from Exit Strategy
Tobias: I'm afraid I might not be able to be deposed either. I got a call out of the blue for a chance to play a very important part in The Prosecution.
Michael: The prosecution called you?
Tobias: I assume it's a CBS procedural. Although they didn't send sides, so I thought I'd trot out a Vagina Monologue, or something else I know. And they did ask for old photos and documents so I went and got these out of the secret room.
Michael: The prosecution is not a TV show. It's clearly somebody in the D.A.'s office trying to get you to flip. These guys will bend the law to enforce the law.
Tobias: Tell me that's not a CBS franchise.
Quote from The Immaculate Election
Narrator: Lindsay was about to find a replacement for Lupe as well.
Lucille: Who is it?
Tobias: [o.s.] [high-pitched voice; British accent] The new housekeeper. The agency sent me over.
Lucille: I'm sorry. I didn't call any-
Tobias: [enters] Oh, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Phyllidia Featherbottom and I can cook and I can clean and I can take care of the little ones. I can also, uh, sing a song or two, if it comes in handy. [sings] When you put a squirt of frosting down your throat Before we take our medications...
Narrator: Tobias had gained access to the studio's wardrobe and makeup department. He was eager to both see his daughter and prove to his wife that he had what it took to be an actor. It was the exact plot of the film Mrs. Doubtfire.
Tobias: In the most delicious way...
Narrator: There was also some Mary Poppins in there.
Lindsay: Let's get this house cleaned.