Ava: Oh, yeah, I can help you make your video.
Janine: Really?
Ava: Yes. This is what I do.
Janine: Well, you're also a principal, so...
Ava: Yeah, but this is my art. I write, I edit, I direct, I do the music, I lip-sync. Because of me, when people say that their favorite director is that Ava lady, somebody else gotta be like, "Which one?" [both chuckle]
Janine: Well, maybe you can just give me a few tips. You know, maybe help build upon what I already have?
Ava: Let me see your phone. What is this? An iPhone 9? [chuckles] It's like a Walkman. I don't know nothing about this. That's before my time.

Janine: [aside to camera] Barbara makes do with so little. It's pride, I think. My psych professor used to say that pride and stubbornness share a fence. Barbara's sitting on that fence. I'm gonna help her off. Sometimes Robin has to look out for Batman. Too many metaphors.

Janine: And I know she comes from that generation that doesn't ask for what they need, so I want to ask for her, and that is why I'm here. [motor running, water splashing] Sorry, am I hearing, like, splashing or bubbles?
Ava: Oh, yeah. Soaking my toesies in my new foot bath.
Janine: Where'd you get this stuff?
Ava: I put it on your list. For the kids. How does having a principal with muscle tension serve them? Ooh, that's a knot! Ooh, that's a knot! Whoo!
Janine: You know what? I'm gonna go.
Ava: That's a knot. Okay, okay. Okay, you were right. Mrs. Howard is an amazing teacher, and we should look out for our own.
Janine: So, does that mean you'll make her a video?
Ava: Oh, yeah. I'm gonna make it rain glue sticks in that room.
Janine: [chuckles] Well, thank you.
Ava: You don't need to thank me. I'mma thank myself by getting an accessory for this massage gun. I want the little part that gets in between the bones.

Ava: It's me, Ava. [chuckles] I was gonna text you, but then I didn't. This might be my best work yet.
Janine: Hey.
Ava: I went in a new direction.
Ava: [v.o. on video] Hello, I am Barbara Howard, the oldest teacher at the poorest school in America.
Ava: I do good voices, huh? [chuckles] I should pursue that more, like cartoons or something.
Ava: [v.o. on video] Please help me fill my wishlist, if not for me, Barbara Howard, the oldest teacher at the poorest school in America, then for little Johnny.
Janine: His name is Amir.
Ava: Shh. People like "Johnny." It makes 'em sad.
Ava: [v.o. on video] Or little Mia.
Ava: Now, she can act. She couldn't do it, and then I pulled out a dollar, that little girl was Viola Davis.

Janine: Ava, no. Delete. Stop. This cannot go out.
Ava: Oh, girl, it's out. It's up and out.
Janine: What?
Ava: And it's hot. These are OnlyFans numbers. I usually gotta show feet to go this viral. Barbara's gonna get everything she needs.
Janine: Ava, this is the grossest, most emotionally manipulative, exploitative thing I've ever seen in my life.
Ava: Thank you. I followed how they make the Pixar movies. It's a trick how they make you cry, but it works.
Janine: If Barbara sees this, I am gonna have to quit, completely start over, move to a small town, and then right when my tomato stand takes off, she's gonna be there... Barbara, trying to buy one, and it'll all be over!
Ava: Girl, tomatoes suck. Why are you worried about Barbara Howard seeing this? She's the most aggressively offline person I've ever met. She responded to my Paperless Post with her ATM code. But you know who will see it? Everybody else. [chuckles]

Janine: Man, how does this have so many views already?
Ava: This is crazy. I said this is what I do. I feel like you went to the plastic surgeon for a nose job and woke up like, "Why do I look different?"
Janine: Why does it say #BelieveScience, #RollTide, #BelieveAllWomen... #LockHerUp?
Ava: You said you wanted eyes on it. [chuckles] ♪ And I got eyes on it ♪
Janine: "Luke 14:13"?
Ava: Ooh, what he say?
Janine: It's a comment about helping the poor and sad and lame and crippled, sent by... [whispers] @Gimme10Inches.
Ava: Now, she got a huge following. This is great. [chuckles]

Janine: Hey, how's it going with the... same stuff that was here before? Even the penguins.
Gregory: Yeah, I just kinda stopped trying.
Janine: Do you mean, like, you're taking a break before you keep going? I don't know what that means.

Melissa: Hey. You gonna ask for a pair of headphones on that little wishlist of yours? 'Cause I cannot listen to one more squeaky voice begging for pencils.
Janine: Well, if you saw how much stuff these teachers got, you would make one, too.
Melissa: Yeah, no. I'm good. I got plenty of classroom supply plugs to keep me stocked up on whatever I need. It's not my fault yous didn't want into the deal.
Jacob: Okay, to be fair, none of us said no. We simply had a few questions.
Melissa: And I said that's a few too many questions.

Ava: [enters] Borrowing the teachers' granola, y'all. Trying to give y'all space to talk about your little Hondas or whatever, but I ran out of oats in my earthquake kit.
Jacob: We don't have earthquakes.
Ava: That's what everybody says, until they wake up and their kitchen is across the street. Some of you need to open your eyes to the very real and constant threat of global catastrophe Ooh, are you on TikTok?
Janine: Uh, yeah.
Ava: Did you see my video that I did about softening elbows? I did it to the tune of "Black and Yellow." It blew up. [chuckles] ♪ Soften elbows, soften elbows ♪ [chuckles] Pretty clever.

Gregory: Well, all right. So, I'm at a, um, construction site here.
Janine: No, you're at a playground. Those are the kids.
Gregory: But this is a caution sign.
Janine: That's the sun.
Gregory: Square sun. Okay. Don Cheadle.
Janine: No. That's you.
Gregory: Hmm.
Janine: Yeah.
Gregory: Okay, and, uh, this is, uh, a fireman.
Janine: San... Santa. Ooh! We're gonna have to take this really slow. [chuckles]
Gregory: Uh, where are you seeing Santa?
Janine: In the belly. In the beard. In the presents. In the red suit.