‘You Don't Know Dick’
Season 6, Episode 13 - Aired February 13, 2001
Dick realizes he doesn't actually know Mary very well at all. Meanwhile, Sally tries to move on from weather and learn the news game, while Harry is made a "gofer" down at the station.
Quote from Dick
Sally: Guys, wish me luck. I'm going on a field assignment with Chaz.
Dick: We're very busy, Sally. I've got to win tickets to Gordon Lightfoot.
Sally: Gordon Lightfoot? Dick, the station owns-
Dick: Sally, please! Not another word about that insipid station! At least when you're on TV, I can hit the mute button.
Sally: Fine. I was gonna say I could get you into a luxury box for the concert, but just forget it!
Dick: Oh, I will! [phone rings] [door slams] What? Sally! Wait!
Quote from Harry
Dick: Harry, I won. Oh, thank God! I got to get dressed and pick up Mary. You go for the tickets.
Harry: You know what? I'm getting tired of everyone always telling me what to do. Go for this. Go for that. How am I supposed to be a serious gopher when everyone's always treating me like an errand boy?
Quote from Harry
Man: Hey, buddy. I'll give you 50 bucks apiece for those.
Harry: You must be stupid.
Man: All right, I'll give you 60 bucks.
Harry: Have you bought concert tickets lately?
Man: How much do you want for 'em, man?
Harry: Well, it says right here they cost $28.
Man: Okay, then I'll give you $28 for 'em.
Harry: That's more like it. Oh, wait. No, no, no, no. I can't sell these. I'm supposed to hold onto 'em 'til Dick gets here.
Man: You know what? I just talked to Dick. He said he's not coming.
Harry: Oh, really? Enjoy the show.
Quote from Sally
Sally: Oh, my God, what is going on?
Chaz Montana: Sally, you can't report the news to the people unless you love the people. Start with me.
Sally: Uh, okay. Um, stop it, Chaz, because I am repulsed by you sexually.
Chaz Montana: Then why are you here?
Sally: For the story! But you know what? I'm beginning to think your mother wasn't the first woman on the moon.
Quote from Harry
Dick: I'm standing outside a Gordon Lightfoot concert holding a pair of tickets to The Ice Capades. This is all your fault!
Harry: You know what? Those were my tickets. I made the call. I knew the song. It's about time I got rewarded for my work. They don't even pay me down at the station.
Dick: Why are we talking about you? This is about me!
Harry: But it's always about you. You, you, you! Well, you wouldn't be in this mess if it hadn't been for... you. Think about it.