Sally: I got to tell you I finally understand what you see in Alissa. She's fun, she's got great taste and a super-cute body.
Tommy: You- You saw her body?
Sally: Oh, yeah. We were naked in the dressing room.
Tommy: Naked?! I- I spent a year of my life trying unsuccessfully to see her naked, and then it just falls into your lap?
Sally: Relax!
Tommy: I will not!

Dick: Excuse me. I have a special delivery package addressed to a... birthday girl.
Mary: Ooh, a video. Could this be a sexy video?
Dick: Could be.
Mary: Thirty Days to Thinner Thighs.
Dick: You know how you're always complaining about your chunky thighs?
Mary: Here's a... gift-giving tip, Dick. Jewelry says, "Our love goes on forever." Exercise videos say, "Your ass goes on forever!"

Judith: Oh, Mary, guess who's partnering up for the big Badger Day dance contest.
Strudwick: Me and Judith.
Mary: Oh, that'll be great.
Strudwick: We'll be practicing in my office, and we didn't want people to get the wrong idea.
Judith: I'm a very sexual person when I dance.