Dick: Excuse me. I have a special delivery package addressed to a... birthday girl.
Mary: Ooh, a video. Could this be a sexy video?
Dick: Could be.
Mary: Thirty Days to Thinner Thighs.
Dick: You know how you're always complaining about your chunky thighs?
Mary: Here's a... gift-giving tip, Dick. Jewelry says, "Our love goes on forever." Exercise videos say, "Your ass goes on forever!"