‘Paranoid Dick’
Season 4, Episode 14 - Aired February 16, 1999
Dick convinces Mary that her Judith is conspiring with Chancellor Stevens to take her job. Meanwhile, Harry, Vicki and Tommy take Sally on a gambling riverboat to get her mind off her break-up with Don.
Quote from Dick
Dick: Nina, come over here. Who's that strange man lurking outside?
Nina: It's Roberto. He waters the plants.
Dick: Ah. The one with the listening device?
Nina: It's a hearing aid.
Dick: Yeah. Right.
Quote from Dick
Dick: Nina, I need your help. A few weeks ago I saw you hold the elevator for Chancellor Stevens' assistant Ruth.
Nina: Yeah? So?
Dick: It's time to call in that favor. Get her to fax over a log book of every call he's made over the last six months. No, better make it a year.
Nina: Dr. Solomon, will you stop worrying? There's no "conspiracy" against Dr. Albright. Trust me.
Dick: Trust you? Of course I trust you. You're my trusted aide, Nina. [to Mary as she enters] Nina's in on it.
Mary: [gasps] No!
Quote from Dick
Mary: What are you doing?
Dick: Looking for infrared sensors.
Mary: Smells like pine cones.
Dick: They were out of country meadows.
Quote from Harry
Harry: All right. Do you want me to keep on rolling?
Crowd: Yeah!
Harry: I can't hear you. I said do you want me to keep on rolling?
Crowd: Yeah!
Harry: Eh, I'm done.
Tommy: What?
Harry: Yeah, I'm finished. Hey, who wants to go outside for some fresh air? [crowd groans] I can't hear you.
Quote from Sally
Neil: What are your names?
Vicki Dubcek: Well, I'm Taffy, and this is Amber.
Neil: Uh-huh.
Vicki Dubcek: We're sisters.
Sally: Uh, we own a bikini shop on the Internet.
Neil: Ooh. Www dot wow.
Vicki Dubcek: You know, Amber here was quite moved by your finale.
Neil: Oh, is that so?
Sally: Yes. You know, when you lit that sparkler, I felt like I was coming to America. Today.
Quote from Sally
Sally: I'm gonna kiss him.
Vicki Dubcek: You are not.
Sally: I am. I'm gonna kiss that Neil Diamond impersonator right on his big sweaty mouth.
Vicki Dubcek: That-a-girl, Sally. It's good to see you getting your life back on track.
Sally: Vicki?
Vicki Dubcek: Yes, Sally?
Sally: I feel good.
Both: Yeow!
Quote from Harry
Dick: Harry, these warm-up suits are fantastic.
Harry: Yeah, well, you know, I like to spread the good fortune around.
Dick: How much did you win?
Harry: $4,200.
Tommy: Yeah, and how much did you spend?
Harry: Let's call it 5 grand.
Sally: That's how casinos make all their money. Gift shops?
Tommy: That's how they get you.
Harry: How can you resist?
Dick: Oh, you can't.