Vicki Dubcek: Well, I think we can all learn a lot from what's just happened here. This feud ends now.
Dick: That's easier said than done.
Vicki Dubcek: Mama, you fix their bathroom. Dick, you pay your rent. See?
Dick: Wow. You've been thinking about this a lot.
Vicki Dubcek: You know, I do like to think of myself as the female Golda Meir.

Tommy: Dick, it's freezing in here.
Dick: Invigorating, isn't it? Makes you feel alive.
Sally: [enters] Hey, guys.
Dick: Oh, Lieutenant, I'm glad you're here.
Sally: You know, Don asked me something out of the blue-
Dick: Cold? Of course it's cold. Do you know why? Because my own brother betrayed me. He and those Dubceks think they can freeze us out. Ha! I thrive at this temperature.
Sally: Wait, Dick, I need to talk to you about something-
Dick: We've grown accustomed to too many luxuries, Sally. Heat, electricity, cooked meats. It's made us weak!

Don: Ah, Sally. You're like this beautiful wild horse. If I'm... gonna keep you, I'd have to break you. Because if I didn't, you'd just keep throwin' me off and steppin' on my head. But I don't want to break you, Sally. I love you. So I guess I'm gonna have to... let you go. If, uh... If someday you should choose to, uh, come back to me... maybe I'll be here maybe I won't. We'll just have to see.
Sally: So this is it? [hands back ring]
Don: You know my number.
Sally: Yep, 911. Hey, Don. Can we turn on the siren? You know, for old times' sake?
Don: Sure. [siren wails]

Vicki Dubcek: [to Harry] Hey, babe. Let's go downstairs. I'm gonna fry you up some steak-ums.
Dick: Don't try to change the subject, you processed, steak-frying, bottom-feeding floozy!
Harry: You will put "miss" in front of that if you know what's good for you!
Dick: Harry, I forbid you to associate with these drunken kleptomaniacs. [Mrs. Dubcek and Vicki gasp]
Harry: They are not kleptomaniacs! They are nymphomaniacs!

Mrs. Dubcek: Okay, I gotta run down to the store. I was making pigs-in-a-blanket and I ran out of bourbon.

Mary: Dick, please. Can't we go to my place? Wouldn't a hot shower be nice?
Dick: I need no warmth. The cold is like an old friend. I was born for the tundra.
Mary: Okay, let's get right to it. You stink. You need to wash.
Dick: Showers are the opiate of the fragrant, Mary. I'm a squatter, and I'm proud to be so. Besides, as soon as I go, Dubcek's gonna padlock the door.

Don: Sally, I'm a cop. I've got keen instincts. And right now my instincts are telling me that... I don't know what the hell is going on.
Sally: Look Don, I am just really confused. I mean on the one hand, I am like this fully developed woman with boobs and the whole shebang, but inside I just feel like I'm still growing. I don't know where that's gonna go. Look, I don't know how long I'm gonna be on this planet.
Don: Nobody does, Sally.
Sally: Right. Right. And I just don't want to miss anything. Don't you ever feel that way?
Don: I shouldn't have asked you to marry me.
Sally: No. Oh, Don, I am so glad you did. It made me think, and I have talked to everyone about it. Everyone except my best friend.

Dick: Where's today's paper? Mary claims that five people were killed in that grain elevator explosion, and I could swear that it was seven. Yes!
Tommy: Nice job.
Dick: Aliens, one. Humans, nothing.

Vicki Dubcek: Harry!
Harry: Vicki! You're back.
Vicki Dubcek: I was gonna sneak up to your bed and surprise you.
Harry: By changing my sheets?
Vicki Dubcek: Maybe afterwards.
Harry: Well, I'd invite you up, but I got plumbin' problems.
Vicki Dubcek: Oh, really? Well, why don't you come right in here and let me help you fix 'em?

Dick: Where's Harry?
Mrs. Dubcek: Oh, he bumped into Vicki, and they got a little freaky.
Dick: Well, our bathroom is a shambles!
Mrs. Dubcek: You know, you're behind in the rent. If you want me to put money into your plumbing, how about paying the rent?
Dick: Rent? You get a guy up here with a tool belt, and we'll talk about the rent.
Mrs. Dubcek: Oh, please, I'm a businesswoman. This is not a halfway house. Anymore.
Dick: Oh, yeah? Well, until you have our bathroom repaired, I wouldn't stand under a window.