Harry: When you can't go to the sea, the sea comes to you with Orca. [sprays perfume]
Woman: Ooh. Doesn't "Orca" mean whale?
Harry: Yes. All of our products are derived from essential whale oils. All the goodness of whale.
Woman: Isn't that animal cruelty?
Harry: Oh, no. No, they don't kill the whales, they just corner 'em. You would be amazed at how much oil they let go when they are really scared. [the woman walks off] Find out what Eskimo men have known for centuries. [to a Black man] Ah, I see you're already familiar with our bronzer. [off his look] All righty.

Sally: Aviana, I'm flaking bad. I need some more samples.
Aviana: I'm sorry. Only the first sample is free. Now you have to pay.
Sally: Just a little scrub. Half an ounce? I'll get the money. You know I'm good for it.
Aviana: I'm sorry. My suppliers would never go for that.
Sally: Okay. I see how this works. You reel me in with your glossy ads, get me hooked on freebies. Next thing you know, I'm out on the street trying to scrape together enough cash for a lousy tube of concealer.
Aviana: Fine, don't buy it then. I have plenty of others who want it. [to another woman] Would you like a free sample of Firma De tata?
Sally: No! Don't do it. Just say no.

August: Listen, I ran out because I was disappointed in you. I thought you were different than other guys.
Tommy: Oh, I am different. You have no idea how different I am.
August: Well, you're not totally to blame, because I know I send some really mature signals.
Tommy: Okay, I can deal with that. I can forget the physical stuff and just be completely intellectual all the time.
August: Well, I hope not all the time.
Tommy: [sighs] Thank god, 'cause, frankly, I couldn't have done that.
August: Look, it's not that complicated. Sometimes you go with the intellectual, sometimes you go with the physical, and sometimes just closeness is nice.
Tommy: Well, how will I know when to do what?
August: I'll decide that as we go along.

Dick: When humans come together, they connect somehow. And when one of them goes away, they pull out a part of you. Dr. Albright took a piece of me with her when she left. And when she came back, I felt normal again. Well, as normal as one can feel in these bodies.
Sally: While we're on the subject of bodies, why is mine so much higher maintenance than yours?
Tommy: I think the economy relies on it.

Sally: What are you selling now?
Harry: Well, surprisingly, I got fired, but Phillip found me a new job. I am now a full-time employee at the Spartacus Lounge.
Dick: Good for you, Harry. You know, a man is never really complete when he's alone.
Tommy: And a woman's not complete unless she's making you beg.
Dick: How do the men here survive when the women go away?
Harry: They go to bars.
Dick: You mean, they get along without their women?
Harry: Oh, they make do.

James Earl Jones: [v.o.] The Earth is populated by millions of beautiful women. And those who aren't beautiful have great personalities.

Dick: You know, there's something about the moon and stars that's so romantic. I wish that-
All: Dr. Albright was here instead of a group of ungrateful subordinates.

Aviana: Can I help you find something from the Firma De tata skin care line, miss?
Sally: I'm looking for soap.
Aviana: Are you oily or dry?
Sally: It depends on where you look.
Aviana: Combination. Are you familiar with our foaming face wash, De Bara Tata?
Sally: Is it soap?
Aviana: You'll love it. And today we have special on Olia De Firma eye cream.
Sally: No, I just want soap.
Aviana: How are you on toning gel? Mi Troata Tauta is a must.
Sally: If it's soap, I'll take it.
Aviana: Are you sloughing?
Sally: What words are you not understanding? I need soap, just the soap. Give me soap!

Onya: If I can help you or answer any questions, just let me know. I'm Onya.
Tommy: Okay, Onya, I was wondering if you could explain to me this human obsession with youth and why the cosmetics industry perpetuates this self-destructive behavior?
Onya: [chuckles] Excuse me.

August: That was great, what you just said to her.
Tommy: I've seen you at school, right?
August: Yeah, I've seen you, too, hiding under the bleachers watching the cheerleaders. You didn't strike me as much of a thinker. I'm August. Don't call me Auggie.
Tommy: I'm Tommy. Don't call me Auggie, either.
August: You know, it's so depressing how the baby boomers have distorted society. They screwed up the job market, froze music for 30 years, and now this.
Tommy: Yeah, they've created an entire industry attempting to recapture the youth they squandered.
August: Tommy, you are insanely bright.
Tommy: Well, it's just how I feel.
August: [applies lip stick] "Very Berry Lip Stick". What do you think?
Tommy: Me like.