Dick: Well, you and Frank certainly seem to enjoy the nuzzling.
Mary: Dick, you're being ridiculous. Frank was one of my students.
Nina: That never stopped you before.
Mary: Shut up, Nina. Frank and I are just friends.
Dick: I don't buy it. That man is here for one reason and one reason only... to continue his excavation... of your pants.

Sally: Enough! Okay, now, while the guards are gone, Harry will distract the teller by bringing her the bank's ballpoint pen and complaining that it's out of ink.
Harry: I'll go in the day before and doodle for a few hours. That way it'll be ready to go.
Sally: Or you could just pretend.
Harry: Ah, devious.

Sally: All right, Tommy, you're gonna slip into the safe, grab the money, and when you hear this sound - "Now, Tommy!" - you leave the safe and walk calmly out of the bank. Meanwhile, I'll be running interference.
Tommy: What's that mean?
Sally: It means if the guard shows up early, I flash him. Any final questions?
Harry: Yes. Can I be the guard?
Sally: No.

Dick: Frank, there's something we need to discuss.
Frank: Sure.
Dick: I just wanted you to know that I'm involved with Mary Albright, and that's not gonna change just because some gorgeous hottie like you comes to town.
Frank: Well, first off, thanks for the compliment.
Dick: Well, I do have eyes, Frank.
Frank: Thanks.
Dick: You're welcome.

Frank: Listen, I should have said something earlier, but I just get so nervous. I only recently started to tell people.
Dick: You've told people?
Frank: Oh, you haven't?
Dick: Heavens, no! How do they react?
Frank: Oh, for the most part they're very accepting. I mean, everyone is coming out nowadays. My god, we're like 10% of the population.
Dick: I'll be damned. I thought I was all alone here.
Frank: Well, I felt that way for a while. But if you go to the bars, you find out that there's a huge community of us out there.
Dick: There are bars?
Frank: Well, not just bars, Dick, but restaurants, cruises...
Dick: Cruises?
Frank: Oh, I went to Mykonos over Christmas.
Dick: Mykonos! Oh, Frank. You've made me so happy! [hugs him]

Dick: So, how was your day?
Sally: Not bad, you?
Dick: Oh, pretty average. You know, graded some papers, did some driving, met another alien.
All: What?
Dick: His name is Frank. He's an old friend of Mary's.
Sally: Oh, man, that broad's like an interstellar lightning rod.

Dick: Hey, hey, get this. Apparently, Rutherford is the hotbed of alien activity in Ohio.
Sally: Whoa!
Dick: Frank invited me to this place downtown called Jeffrey's Lounge. It's an alien bar.
Sally: Jeffrey's Lounge. Isn't that that place with the blacked-out windows?
Dick: Uh, yeah. Aliens inside.
Tommy: Wow, aliens inside? So, can we go?
Dick: Well, I'll check it out, and if I like it, we'll book it for Harry's birthday. [all cheer]

Don: Come on, Sally, we're late.
Sally: Oh, gosh, okay.
Harry: Where are you guys going?
Don: Uh, we're going to see the Kenny Loggins Experience. Yeah, they're a Kenny Loggins tribute band.
Tommy: Oh, they sound just like him?
Don: Well, I hope not. I hate Kenny Loggins.

Dick: So, everybody here is just like us?
Frank: Yep.
Dick: What planet is he from?
Frank: Seriously.
Dick: Where are all the ladies?
Frank: Oh, they have their own bar.
Dick: Oh, smart.

Taylor: Hi, I'm Taylor.
Dick: Hello, I'm the High Commander.
Taylor: Well, hello, High Commander. Maybe we can get together sometime and do some training?
Dick: Why not? I'll make a fine soldier out of you. [salutes]
Frank: What was that?
Dick: A salute.
Frank: A salute?
Dick: You've never done the salute?
Frank: No.
Dick: It's like... [salutes] No, more like... [salutes] Better. [all do the salute] Hey, look at us! We're fabulous!