‘Frankie Goes to Rutherford’
Season 5, Episode 19 - Aired May 9, 2000
Dick is worried when a former student of Mary's, Frank (Enrico Colantoni), visits. Dick's fears are eased when Frank admits he's not interested in Mary as he's "from a different world". Meanwhile, Sally, Harry and Tommy plot a bank heist.
Quote from Mary
Mary: Hi, guys. Is Dick here?
Dick: No. He's over at Jeffrey's Lounge.
Mary: Jeffrey's Lounge? Isn't that a gay bar?
Sally: Yeah. Yeah. That's- It's a gay bar.
Mary: Huh. Are you sure he said Jeffrey's Lounge?
Tommy: Well, he could've said some other gay bar.
Mary: Okay.
Quote from Harry
Sally: Harry! Harry! Harry. What's wrong?
Harry: The pens are chained down. They must've known we were coming.
Tommy: You tipped off the cops, didn't you?
Sally: Don't you start with me, lamb-boy.
Harry: Yeah. Maybe lamb-boy tipped off the fuzz.
Tommy: You punk.
Harry: Baaa!
Tommy: Aah!
Sally: Stop it! All right! You two shut up. Now, listen, we have got a bank to rob.
Security Guard: Excuse me? Can I help you?
Harry: Every man for himself! [flashes guard and runs away]
Quote from Dick
Mary: I want to know what's really going on between you and Frank.
Dick: We just had a little misunderstanding, that's all.
Mary: So, are you saying you're gay or not?
Dick: What I'm saying... is this. [kisses Mary]
Mary: So, are you gay or not?
Dick: Mary, I am not gay.
Mary: Good.
Dick: You believe me?
Mary: Yes, I do.
Dick: Good.
Mary: I do believe you. So, you're not gay?
Dick: No, I'm not gay. I promise you. I am not gay.
Mary: Uh-huh. [exits]
Dick: [quietly to himself] I'm an alien. Oh, God, I wish I was gay!