Mary: You got a letter.
Dick: Really?
Mary: From the I.R.S.
Dick: Oh, great! It's probably my check. I took a second pass on my return, and it turns out I don't owe anything.
Mary: It doesn't look like a check.
Dick: Well, it can't be a birthday card. My birthday isn't for months. "Notice of audit"? What's an audit?
Lucy: Oh, boy. An audit. You are so screwed.
Dick: Mary, she's scaring me.

Mary: Oh, Dick, sit down. We have to talk.
Dick: Can't it wait till after my audit?
Mary: Everything is gonna be fine. You just have to tell the truth. It's not as if you have something to hide, right?
Dick: Hide? No. I have nothing to hide. Why would I hide?
Lucy: That's good, because they're gonna be all over you. They're gonna dig into every aspect of your life. Find out everything about you.
Dick: Everything?
Mary: They can be pretty brutal.
Dick: Oh... that's interesting. N-now, if you'll excuse me, I- I- I have to, uh, nnnnnnnn... [screams]!

Dick: Family meeting! Family meeting! Who is this?
Sally: Oh, that's my 4:00. You can go sit in the chair, hon. Tommy.
Tommy: Would you like some mineral water while you're waiting?
Dick: Why don't you just go run along, dear?
Woman: Um, where should I go-
Dick: Get out!

Dick: Good. Oh, by the way, are we from a distant galaxy? You.
Harry: No...
Dick: Are you sure?
Sally: [mouthing silently]
Harry: Yes, sir!

Dick: Quick, let's buy some time by barricading the door. Just push the desk over against the door. That's right. Push it.
Sally: I can't see him.
Mr. Gindek: What are you doing?
Sally: Uh... it it just... It just slid right over.
Dick: Do your realize this whole floor is slanted?!