Mary: I canceled my meeting tonight.
Dick: Really?
Mary: So we can do whatever you want.
Dick: Oh, yeah? Let's say we make it an early weekend.
Mary: Oh, I can't take Friday off. I have a budget meeting in the morning.
Dick: Oh, look at this. Jennifer's wide open on Friday. You know, she is so flexible.
Mary: I'll see how open I can get. [exits]
Dick: My God, it's actually working! If I can keep this going another few days, I'll have her up to six nights and Melrose Mondays.

Dick: Oh, Jennifer. What happened to you? It's an allergic reaction.
Jennifer Ravelli: I told you I couldn't eat at that restaurant.
Dick: But you didn't eat anything. All you had was water.
Jennifer Ravelli: I think there was a lemon in it.

Jennifer Ravelli: Dick, I noticed something last night, and I want you to be perfectly honest with me. You still have feelings for Mary, don't you? [gasps] He didn't answer right away. Oh, my God. He didn't answer right away. Oh, dear God-
Dick: Jennifer.
Jennifer Ravelli: Ge does have you feelings for her.
Dick: Are you all right?
Jennifer Ravelli: [babbling]
Dick: Now, Jennifer. Jennifer, calm down! Look, I can see you're upset, but I think it's crucial that we tough it out for another two or three days, depending.
Jennifer Ravelli: Oh. I see what game you're playing. You've just been using me.
Dick: No.
Jennifer Ravelli: Oh, thou blind fool, love, what dost thou to mine eyes, that they behold, yet see not what they see?
Dick: J- J- Jennifer, wait! I don't even know what that means!

Dick: Jennifer broke up with me just as I was starting to make some real headway with Mary.
Sally: Oh, god, why don't you just be honest with them?
Dick: No.
Sally: It's what Don would do.
Dick: I can't. I've almost got Mary where I want her.
Sally: What are you gonna do?
Dick: I've gotta find some way to win that horror show back! I'm gonna go insane!
Tommy: That's nice.
Harry: We'll miss ya.

Don: Honestly, Sally, it's not what you think it is. Uh, what... What do you think it is?
Sally: You went bowling behind my back. With Harry and Tommy.
Don: [chuckles] No, no.
Tommy: Of course not.
Sally: Why are you wearing matching bowling shirts then?
Don: Okay, give me a minute.
Tommy: Hey, is- is that a water fountain?
Harry: I think it is. Let's check that out.
Tommy: I would like that.

Sally: Why don't you tell me the truth, Don? Just be honest.
Don: All right, you want honesty? I'll I'll give you honesty. I hate bowling with you, Sally. I- I absolutely hate it! You're- You're terrible. By ignoring the rules, you just spit in the eye of the pastime of the gods. And to be honest, I never want to go bowling with you again. [Sally starts to cry] Oh, Sally. Sally, I'm kidding! I'm kidding! I'm a kidder. I'm joking, it was a joke. I- I love bowling with you.
Sally: [sobs] You don't mean that.
Don: I- I don't mean it? You don't think I mean it? Come on. Sally, it's your turn. You're up. And I want you to use my ball.
Sally: You mean...
Don: That's right. Blue Thunder.
Sally: [choking back sobs] Oh. Oh, Don! [drops ball on Don's feet]
Don: Oh, Sally!

Dick: Mary, I was just thinking about what you said the other day, about quality time.
Mary: Oh, that.
Dick: I, uh, just want you to know that if you're still willing to make that kind of commitment, I would be willing to make a sacrifice of my own.
Mary: Are you making an offer?
Dick: Well, no, I'm really just putting out a feeler.
Mary: I'm not sure it's worth my time to respond to a feeler.
Dick: Oh, I think this is a feeler that you can't refuse. Mary, if you can promise me to make a good-faith effort to spend more time with me, I will break up with Jennifer, despite the fact that I will be crushing the frail soul of a woman already teetering on the edge of sanity.
Mary: I can live with that.

Jennifer Ravelli: I am so sorry, Dr. Albright. I don't know what came over me. I'm really a very docile person.
Mary: Oh, that's all right. He brings that out in women.
Jennifer Ravelli: Could I be transferred to another office?
Mary: First thing in the morning. I don't know why I put you in here in the first place. You wanna get a drink?
Jennifer Ravelli: Oh, I can't go to bars. I'm allergic to smoke.
Mary: I have a full bar in my desk.
Jennifer Ravelli: Lead me.

Jennifer Ravelli: [sings] Diaphenia, like the daffdowndilly
Dick: Jennifer.
Jennifer Ravelli: White as the sun Fair as the lily
Dick: Jennifer.
Jennifer Ravelli: Heigh-ho, heigh-ho
Dick: Excuse me.
Jennifer Ravelli: How I do love thee
Dick: Jennifer!

Jennifer Ravelli: What is it, my pretty prince of fun and physics?
Dick: I have something to tell you, and it's not going to be easy.
Jennifer Ravelli: A bit of gossip, perhaps even sleazy? [giggles]
Dick: Maybe it's gonna be easier than I thought. Jennifer, we've had some good times...
Jennifer Ravelli: And many more to come.
Dick: Yes, well, actually, what I was getting at is I think it's time we moved on.
Jennifer Ravelli: To the next level? Oh, Dick, I couldn't agree more. [kisses Dick] [bell rings] I've got a class. We'll celebrate later.
Dick: Oh, Jennifer, no, you misunderstood.
Jennifer Ravelli: [sings] Diaphenia, like the daffdowndilly [exits]
Dick: Jennifer! Oh, damn!