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I Am Dick Pentameter!

‘I Am Dick Pentameter!’

Season 4, Episode 6 - Aired November 4, 1998

Dick is so enthralled with his new office mate, Dr. Jennifer Ravelli (Laurie Metcalf), he tells Mary he thinks they should see other people. Meanwhile, Sally, Harry and Tommy try their hands at interior design by bringing the kitchen and living room together.

Quote from Dick

Don: I mean, I've tried to rhyme, you know. There was a dog who sat on a log. His name was... Rog? That sort of thing. Hold on to her, Dick. She's one of a kind.
Dick: So you like the rhyming, eh? You like the rhyming?
Don: Yeah.
Dick: And what if the rhyming were never to stop? On, on, and on till your head doth pop. Oh, look! A book! A book on schnook! What kind of crook took my schnook nook book? Perchance, methinks, thee, hither, yon, thou. I'm think I'm gonna have a freakin' cow!
Don: You sure seem to hate her. Sounds really tough.
Dick: Hate's a strong word, Don, but not strong enough.


Quote from Harry

Sally: Harry? I'm done. You can bring the chair back in.
Harry: I could.
Sally: What are you saying?
Harry: I'm saying that I think that this chair should stay in the kitchen.
Sally: Harry, that's a living room chair.
Harry: It's just a living room chair because you've been told it's a living room chair.

Quote from Harry

Tommy: I like "living kitchen."
Sally: I prefer "kitchen room."
Harry: Klivingtchen. That's what they'll call it in Germany.
Tommy: You know, maybe we don't even need to name it.
Sally: Look, either we name it, or the media will.
Harry: Then it's settled. Klivingtchen.

Quote from Mary

Dick: Mary, you're here!
Mary: Yes, I'm here. Just long enough to tell you what an ass you are. There. I think I'm done.
Dick: No, no, Mary. Wait. I've been doing a lot of thinking.
Mary: Yeah, I've been doing a lot of thinking, too. About what an ass you are! I work late a couple of nights, and you seize the opportunity to chase the first skirt that comes along.
Dick: Oh, no. But, Mary, I've been thinking-
Mary: Oh, don't talk to me again. Ever, ever, never ever.
Dick: That's not a very good rhyme.
Mary: Ass!

Quote from Nina

Nina: Dr. Albright, you know, if you take the leash off a dog, it will go in the neighbors' yard.

Quote from Tommy

Tommy: Why should we accept the norms of decorating? Why should we be bound by society's draconian constrictions?
Harry: Why can't I sit in a big, fluffy chair while I scramble some eggs?
Tommy: You can. And why can't the toaster be in the living room so I can make toast while watching television?
Sally: Oh, we can have all of these things. Our horizons are unlimited.
Harry: I'm a little scared.
Sally: Oh, me, too, Harry. Me, too.

Quote from Dick

Mary: Dick, I can't believe you'd do this.
Dick: Do what? Find somebody who has time for me? Who's devoted to me? Birds gotta fly, Mary. Fish gotta swim. Camel's gotta carry water over long expanses of desert. You know what I'm saying.
Mary: Well, tell me this. What does a rat do? Because I'm looking at one right now.
Dick: Where? [screams] Oh, you mean me.
Mary: So this is it? The end of us? Are you happy, Dick?
Dick: I am.
Mary: Oh! [runs out]
Dick: Well, you asked!

Quote from Dick

Dick: You have a little tofu on your lip.
Jennifer Ravelli: This smoothie is delicious. Please, have a sip.
Dick: Ahh. Thank you, but no. Just, please, go like this.
Jennifer Ravelli: I've got an idea. How about we kiss?
Dick: Okay, time-out. You're missing my point.
Jennifer Ravelli: Finish your food, and we'll blow this joint.
Dick: Just listen to me! You have tofu on your lip. It's been there for what seems like an eternity. Now please just flick it the hell off your face! [Jennifer wipes her mouth] Thank you. That's better. Now we can embrace.

Quote from Dick

Dick: Now, I just have to run up to the office for a little errand.
Jennifer Ravelli: Okay.
Dick: You stay in the car, and I'll try to be quick.
Jennifer Ravelli: Fear not. I'll be fine, my dear darling Dick.
Dick: Wait a minute. What's that you did there?
Jennifer Ravelli: A playful homage to my good friend Moliere.
Dick: Oh, I get it. You're rhyming. And you do it with flair.
Jennifer Ravelli: Scientist and poet. How extraordinaire!
Dick: [chuckles] Okay, Okay. No rhyming till I get back.

Quote from Sally

Sally: This is weird. Big, fluffy chair in the kitchen.
Harry: Am I right?
Sally: This chair belongs here!
Tommy: This is madness!
Harry: Is it? [Harry sits Tommy down on the chair]
Tommy: My god. Feels like my eyes have been blown wide open.
Sally: It's like I've never seen the kitchen before. I mean, never truly seen it.

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