TV Quotes

Dick: Lieutenant, aren't you forgetting something?
Sally: You're right, the wedding announcement.
Dick: No, no. The mission.
Sally: Dick, this is my mission. It's what women are supposed to do. Get married, have babies, hire total strangers to raise them and then wonder where they went wrong.

Mary: Oh, Dick, you shouldn't be embarrassed. Michel's the one who got arrested.
Sally: They got Michel! [all gasp]
Mary: Yeah, the guy from immigration. It was an ugly fight. The French tend to kick a lot when frightened.
Dick: Immigration?
Mary: Yeah, they said they'll be sending him back to France in the morning.
Dick: Of course, he's from another country!
Sally: That's why he's an alien.
Tommy: Alien from France.
Harry: Not a quivering purple tube from a distant galaxy sent to study humankind. [Sally slaps the back of Harry's head] What? I said "not."

Harry: Well, I'm going with ya. Because I, too, have a wanderlust inspired by a different book.
Tommy: You do?
Harry: Indeed. And one day far from here, you and I will point our fingers at that bespectacled man with the sock hat and proudly say, "There's Waldo!"
Tommy: Harry, Waldo's a fictional character.
Harry: Ah, then it will be that much sweeter... when we find him.

Dick: Oh, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to feel. Who am I?!
Harry: Well, let me see. Your first name's Dick. Your new last name is Head, so I guess that would make...
Dick: Oh, my God.