Adult Dean: The fact that Coach Long was trusting me with a secret he couldn't tell Cory made me feel mature, special.
It almost made me forget that I am terrible at keeping secrets.
[flashback:]
Kim: Why'd you buy paper plates?
Dean: For your surprise birthday party.
Bill: Thanks, Dean.
[flashback:]
Bill: I can't wait to see Planet of the Apes.
Dean: Yeah, I heard it was good. They were on Earth all along. [off Bill's look] W-What? I said it was good.

Kim: Ooh, he must be gambling. That's what happened to my friend Lorraine. Her father lost their house in a card game, and they had to move to Arkansas.
Dean: I thought they wanted to move to Arkansas?
Kim: Nobody wants to move to Arkansas.

Bill: What's eating at you?
Dean: My friends all think I'm petty.
Lillian: Well, tell your friends...
Bill: You're petty as hell, Dean.
Lillian: Bill.
Bill: He's petty at Christmas, petty with his sister. He was petty as a baby. First time I changed his diaper, he was mad it wasn't you and peed in my face.
Lillian: All babies are like that.
Bill: You didn't see the look in his eye when he did it. Petty.

Dean: Looks like they plan to be alone tonight.
Kim: Gross.
Dean: I feel so sorry for them. You and I get to go hang out with our friends and have fun, while Mama and Daddy are stuck in the house with nothing to do.
Kim: Wha... [sighs]

Lillian: Aren't you supposed to getting ready for the sleepover at Cory's tonight?
Dean: You guys probably heard about what happened at school today.
Bill: Why would we hear about the day-to-day happenings at your little school? We got grown folks things to talk about.
Dean: Cory got Student of the Week.
Bill: Actually, we did hear about that. Tell him we said "congratulations" when you get over there. Now, go on and get ready.
Adult Dean: I didn't realize that as much as we were always trying to get out of the house, my parents loved us getting out even more.

Kim: I'm going to Brenda's for a sleepover. 'Cause it's her birthday. We're gonna stay up late, listen to records, talk about boys, boys, boys. [chuckles]
Dean: Wasn't Brenda's birthday months ago? Isn't that why she's always wearing that Sagittarius necklace?
Bill: Kim, we already figured you and Brenda are going to that rally at the student union tonight.
Kim: Rally? Student union?
Bill: You know I work at the college. I've gotten at least nine fliers about it already.
Kim: Well...
Bill: Just call us when you get back to Brenda's so we know we don't have to post bail money.

Dean: [busy signal] Hmm. What could they be doing that's so important the phone's off the hook?

Hampton: Don't tell me you have to use the bathroom again. I just got comfortable.
Dean: I-I'm sorry.
Hampton: Just hold it in. That's what I'm doing.
Dean: You can die doing that.
Hampton: I hope not. One of my biggest fears is pooping at someone else's house.
Dean: Just move!
Hampton: Ugh.

Adult Dean: Coach Long telling me not to reveal his secret was like telling me not to think about pink elephants. I was sweating so much, my jammies had pit stains.

Lillian: Um, Dean. What are you doing home so early?
Bill: Yeah, we weren't expecting you before 10:00 a.m.
Dean: It's after 10:00.
Lillian: I didn't realize it was so late.
Bill: [chuckles] I guess we missed our meeting at church. [both laugh]
Dean: I tried to call to say good night, but the phone was off the hook.
Lillian: W... Well, maybe you dialed the wrong number.
Bill: Yeah.
Dean: 19 times? What were you guys doing that you didn't notice the phone was off the hook?
Bill: Go outside and play.